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Joe Rogan



Last Updated: 11/22/2009

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Status: Married
City: Rocky Mountain HIGH
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/24/2005
Thursday, September 24, 2009 
I got an incredible amount of responses to my last blog, so many and so varied that I thought I should probably address a few.   The vast majority of the people agreed with what I had to say, and applauded my stand against some of the more ridiculous trends infecting our beloved sport, but curiously quite a few folks felt I was unjustly “bashing” MMA fans, and a couple even arrived at the misguided opinion that by poking fun at some of the silly behavior and moronic wardrobe choices I was somehow “biting the hand that feeds me.”
To that I say, first and foremost I’m a stand up comic.  I make fun of everything, including myself.  When you get upset at something I say that reflects on you, just think about the shit I say about me.  I regularly describe myself as a short, balding, little chimp-man.  I drank my own piss and put the video of it up on youtube. Not only do I regularly wear a fanny pack – the most widely ridiculed wardrobe item the world has ever known - but I’m at the helm of an ill-conceived campaign actively trying to bring them back to popularity.
I’m a goof.
But guess what, fuck face - so are you.  We all are.
It comes with the territory of being a human being; we are innately goofy, odd little talking monkeys spinning around on this giant rock that’s flying through the infinite vastness of the universe.
The biggest and saddest goofs amongst us by FAR, however, are the ones that get angry when you make fun of them.
The bottom line in this life, is do whatever the fuck you want to do as long as it’s not harming anyone else.
Happiness is precious and there is no universal method of achieving it.
If it really brings you joy, and you’re not hurting anyone else, fuck what some dummy like me has to say.
When you’re taking a picture standing next to Vitor Belfort put TWO fists up, just for spite.   Right before the flash goes off, pull your pants down too.  He’s a nice guy, he probably won’t say shit.
Does that “Tap or Snap – the choice is yours!”  T-shirt really appeal to you?  If it does, rock that shit homey.
What, are you gonna live forever?
Fuck it – after you get that bitch home, head on down to your local “Hot Topic” and get yourself some glue and glitter, and pimp that motherfucker up proper.  Put a big, red, glittery dick on the front and wear it around the mall with your chest puffed out.  If it puts a smile on your face, that’s really all that matters.
To all you silly fucks out there that were actually upset at anything I said, my recommendation to you, is to get yourself a joint and a telescope.  Take a couple hits, look through that lens, and even if it’s just for a brief moment try to get yourself a different perspective.   You’ll thank me later.
I wasn't planning to write this blog entry, and in the end I didn't actually have that much to say, but I'm trying to really update this thing more often.  I'm sitting in a hotel room right now, and I've got to get some sleep.  I've been working on a movie for the last couple weeks in Boston, and after long days on the set I've got to force myself to bang something out on the keyboard.
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Justin

 
hell yea i agree 100 percent ..you tell em joe
 
Posted by Justin on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:09 AM
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PRODIGALFLETCH

 
hahahahhahahahhaha
 
Posted by PRODIGALFLETCH on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:13 AM
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Bruce

 
Fuck a joint and a telescope. Smoke that joint then squat over a mirror. That shit will blow your goddamned mind.
 
Posted by Bruce on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:13 AM
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You Probably Know Me As Matt
Matt Matt

 
This may be the single funniest statement I've heard all day!
 
Posted by You Probably Know Me As Matt on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 7:35 PM
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Marcello

 
..that's why I laugh at all those stupid "TMZ"-like shows that put everything under a microscope..they'll follow someone like miley cyrus around for hours, get a few words out of her..then put it on tv and bash her..as if i give two flying fucks about that little hoochie and what she has to say haha people definately need to chill the fuck out and worry about themselves..
 
Posted by Marcello on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:16 AM
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Master Dickard

 
I love MMA and I dont wear any fight gear. Why? Because im not a FUCKING POSER! Thanks for expressing an observation that a whole lot of people agree with.
 
Posted by Master Dickard on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:17 AM
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Fresh

 
I like when you said, "Do whatever the fuck you want to do as long as it’s not harming anyone else." I've actually said those same words before! People these days, are so soft....they need to lighten up and have fun with life!

 
Posted by Fresh on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:18 AM
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How To Burn Fat
Rollie X

 
LOL, good stuff.
 
Posted by How To Burn Fat on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:18 AM
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Jimmy

 
So very true Joe...Like Terence McKenna once said, "Culture and Ideology are not our friends." And any time we are wrapping ourself in the notion that our own bullshit is somehow superior than someone else's, especially when they are busy purchasing some prepackaged bullshit, well then they are simply moronic.....You gave some good advice there.....
....And WTF is up with Dragon Machida!?!....That guy is a sneaky, unbeaten quiet monster!..
 
Posted by Jimmy on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:19 AM
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Beast

 
I cant wait to meet you someday, so I can get a picture with you...fists, in front of our faces like we're holding microphones, cause you cant mimic telling a joke.
 
Posted by Beast on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:20 AM
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Brandon
Brandon Baker

 
You probably will never look at this shit, but I know exactly where you're coming from, and I just want you to know that you're not alone in your logic.  We're all just monkeys seeking the approval of other monkeys...  strange when you really think about it. 

P.S. I love hearing you commentate UFC's.  (Especially when you call shit seconds before it happens, like you did with the Henderson/Bisping fight.)  You and Mike make a strangely good combination. 
 
Posted by Brandon on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:21 AM
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Daniel
Daniel Coller

 
I love it Joe!!!  I'm sitting at my computer laughing to myself and it's making me feel pretty goofy. Also happy at the same time. I think they should wear those shirts with glitter dicks on their chests. "hot topic" that shit cracks me up!!..   Good luck on the set.
 
Posted by Daniel on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:23 AM
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TORCH ENTERTAINMENT

 
fuck yeah joe. speak your mind like you always do. its just words they should get over it. fuckin a

 
Posted by TORCH ENTERTAINMENT on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:24 AM
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That Guy

 
I agree I personally hate MMA it's like the evolution of fake wrestling. I mean why would a grown man want to watch 2 muscled up oily men roll around on the ground half naked? Unless they have some issues in the closet some where. Of course then you have to look at Nascar and realize the mass popularity of driving in circles, which you can track back to roman days with the chariot races. Then that brings us full circle to the fact the United States in collapse much like the Roman empire because they liked shitty sports too. The 3rd sign will be when bowling adds stripper poles to the end of the lanes and every time someone gets a strike the bitch on the pole takes off an article of clothing. You know what I might actally pitch that to Fox.
 
Posted by That Guy on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:26 AM
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kim!!!!!

 
You are very funny ...i had no clue..when is more off your standup gonna be on spike?
 
Posted by kim!!!!! on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:30 AM
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I am woman~~ hear me ROAR!!!
Jamie Waller

 
I FUCKING LOVE YOU JOE!!!!!!!!
 
Posted by I am woman~~ hear me ROAR!!! on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:31 AM
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mary
mary wilson

 
AMEN JOE!!!

 
Posted by mary on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:32 AM
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Nate
Nate Chavez

 
You're the fucking man! You should have a religion created after you! XD
 
Posted by Nate on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:36 AM
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Stalesoul666

 
Dude, you just said you've got to force yourself to bang something out on the keyboard.                                     ..HAHAHA, YOU ARE THE MAN JOE!! YeaH!

 
Posted by Stalesoul666 on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:39 AM
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Jewsus
Will Shapiro

 
Fuck your fanny pack, faggot.

Other than that, love your shit.

 
Posted by Jewsus on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:42 AM
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The Rabid Philosopher

 
You took the knee-jerk reactions of overly sensitive fucks who probably were nipple fed and wore safety helmets when riding their bikes, and ended up with some existential crap about talking monkeys floating on a rock through space - brilliant

I totally see the connection
 
Posted by The Rabid Philosopher on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:46 AM
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Gorey Gibbler

 
fuckin' Tap Or Snap, hahahaha. yo, I wear wolf shirts. the next step is wolves doing muay thai or tapping eachother out.

 
Posted by Gorey Gibbler on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:49 AM
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Matt
Brian del Pino

 
Next time I take a picture with a fighter I'm gonna pose doing a Muay Thai plum. Wearing my douche bag Affliction shirt that makes me look like such a bad ass.

 
Posted by Matt on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:51 AM
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KING ARTHUR™

 
Joe, I've always thought that people should be themselves. You are a prime example of that, you are you, and if someone doesn't like it they can go fuck themselves.

I never understood why people consider themselves above one another when the chances at life are all given to each of us. Some get a lot more of that chance than others, but at certain points within our lives we might have more than someone else. It's always up to us to make that choice as to what we do within that time and follow the path that leads us to being the people we're destine to become.

"The bottom line in this life, is do whatever the fuck you want to do as long as it’s not harming anyone else.
Happiness is precious and there is no universal method of achieving it." You nailed it brotha!!

There are plenty of us out there that get it and understand what it is that you do....if someone else can't figure it out for themselves, well...fuck 'em.

I've always said to people like that, "You forget i ain't living for you"....wake brotha, do your thing, and have a fucking ball doing it!!

 
Posted by KING ARTHUR™ on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 4:56 AM
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Chase

 
joe rogan not only a comedian and fighter but a modern day philosopher ..
....i didt read your first blog....but you have a wonderful outlook at life....
....please share your thoughts with all the "tapout" bros who beat up goofs....
....thanks :)..
 
Posted by Chase on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 5:03 AM
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Adrenaline&Endorphine-Junkie
Eric Pondusa

 
This is an excellent blog Joe! Because you hit on some points that I try to impress upon  ppl. all the time. You made me laugh....4 sure life is like a cartoon sometimes. "Odd little talking monkeys"= a valid point ppl. often deny we are in essence just that (animals). Bottom line tonight: the whole blog is valid. I'm impressed which is not easy sometimes cause ppl. generally don't have that effect unless I find something out of the ordinary. To top it off is the fact that you took time to think over the feedback (seems you may have been bothered by some of the under tones) and respond in an intelligent non-defensive manner. I am one of the first ones that pointed out the "biting the hand that feeds." I apologize for my comment as it may have mischaracterized your position which is now clearer to me given your further insight. Plus, frankly I don't want to make anyone feel like a bad guy if they are not one. It is in fact a part of your job to point out other ppl.'.s idiosyncrasies. Writing this blog you have demonstrated your intellectual ability and thereby won my admiration. Thank-you so much for contributing dialogue in such an important and meaningful way. I hope others generally take your advice to look from other perspectives.
 
Posted by Adrenaline&Endorphine-Junkie on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 5:05 AM
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ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

 
If you get upset and start crying because of what another man says about your shirt then maybe you aren't the hardcore badass you thought you were, in which case MAYBE you shouldnt be wearing a shirt with a pair of bloody brass knuckles on it.

 
Posted by ONLY A MATTER OF TIME on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 5:08 AM
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David Sun

 
I'd buy a pack from your new line of fanny packs as long as it comes with a free vacuum sealed bag of multi-vitamins with delivery. 

"Tap or Snap, Bitch!"

 
Posted by David Sun on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 5:12 AM
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Louis
Louis Fine

 
As much as it pains me, I must defend those that wear MMA t-shirts with bad slogans.  I wear my Florida Marlins jersey all the time, and I couldn't hit a 90 MPH fatsball with a tennis racket...

 
Posted by Louis on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 5:19 AM
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Christopher™

 
joe rogan = AWESOMENESS
 
Posted by Christopher™ on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 5:21 AM
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Adrenaline&Endorphine-Junkie
Eric Pondusa

 
This is worth a repeat read. Joe said "Happiness is precious and there is no universal method of achieving it." and "I’m a goof.
But guess what, fuck face - so are you.  We all are.
It comes with the territory of being a human being; we are innately goofy, odd little talking monkeys spinning around on this giant rock that’s flying through the infinite vastness of the universe.
The biggest and saddest goofs amongst us by FAR, however, are the ones that get angry when you make fun of them. The bottom line in this life, is do whatever the fuck you want to do as long as it’s not harming anyone else." And these are words worth remembering,sports fans! :>)

 
Posted by Adrenaline&Endorphine-Junkie on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 5:21 AM
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AJ
Andrew Baker

 
Preach the truth Joe. It's exactly why affliction and Eddie have such a bad rep. Who wants to see someone who is obiously not a fighter wearing some shit like he is. Bring the truth to light.
 
Posted by AJ on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 5:22 AM
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Mob Ties Like Sinatra
Mob Ties Badwin

 
..Those who do not understand your writting and get angry obviously dont like joe rogan for joe rogan and prob never going to come to one of your comedy shows so fuck them. who cares. I really did get a good laugh from everything you say after "Fuck it- " that was using your comedy half of the brain.  "Put a big, red, glittery dick on the front".. classic. ..
 
Posted by Mob Ties Like Sinatra on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 5:25 AM
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Gabe

 
OHHH fuckn A! haha! You should deffinately do more blogs bro. im glad i got on the computer and saw this shit. Do your fuckn thing with the fanny pack, thats down. some people have a guilty conscious and when you say shit randomly fuckers think its directed right at them cuz they where tap or snap. I don't know dude but you kick ass keep blazing it! write these blogs. im writing alot cuz im high but fuck yeah kudos and every damn thing homie!

..PEACE!..
 
Posted by Gabe on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 6:15 AM
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Gabe

 
....HAHAHAHA WTF
THE COMMENT BELOW BRUCE FUNNY SHIT....
 
Posted by Gabe on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 6:17 AM
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Geoff
Geoff W

 
Just don't watch the spanktervision cause it'll turn you gay.

 
Posted by Geoff on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 6:32 AM
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Emerson
Emerson Favreau

 
I tottally got your last post, you've got all these douche bags walking around with affliction t-shirts and tapout shirts and they think they're MMA fighters all the sudden, you usually run into them at bars and when they talk shit they threaten to put you in a goullitine choke hold as if they even knew how to do it properly. I don't understand why some people can't just sit back and enjoy the sport. Everyone now a days are armchair owners. Let the UFC do there fuckin jobs and just enjoy this awesome sport!
 
Posted by Emerson on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 6:51 AM
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James J.
James J. Kincaid

 
Dude. you really drank your own piss.  Wow. As one of the T-shirt wearing, poser, wanna be's I just wanna say no problem.  Apology accepted.   Really just to prove your even more right than some people want to admit my poser shirt isn't even a real poser shirt.  I got it at K-mart. 
 
Posted by James J. on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 7:37 AM
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Seanie
July Eighteenth

 


..You are hands down my favorite comic and I love comedy.

I got high but lacking a telescope, so, I jerked off to your standup  ..

That isn't true  -

You rock dude

Peace



.. 

..
 
Posted by Seanie on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 7:39 AM
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Joe
Joe Hein

 
Double dammit, Joe!  Now I have to go dig my MMA fight gear out of the dumpster so I can customize it and wear it to work!  I'll gently wash my Richard Simmons shirt and fold it and put it safely back in a dresser drawer for use at a later date, or maybe just take it out once in a while and snuggle with it.
 
Posted by Joe on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 7:40 AM
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Joe
Joe Hein

 
P.S.  Joe, your blogs are never dumb.  Way out there sometimes, yeh.  Dumb, no.
 
Posted by Joe on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 7:42 AM
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DOPE ARTIST - RAIDER NATION REPRESENATIVE!!!

 
i didnt even read this but i agree with u!! hahaha... JIHAAAADDDDDDD!!!!!!!!
 
Posted by DOPE ARTIST - RAIDER NATION REPRESENATIVE!!! on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 7:56 AM
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SPOOK

 
Deemsters and n2o...hit them shit you will see some different shit alright...add a lil 2cb and some k....hello...
 
Posted by SPOOK on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 8:11 AM
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KMW

 
I'm a huge comedy addict. You really are the shit dude. I really became a fan when I started watching your comedy. Your humor gets right to the truth of things and you say it with more conviction and authority than most comedians. You may get this a lot, and to bring it around to your blog topic, I have never actually GOT a sport before. Never played, watched or understood their appeal. After seeing you argue boxing vs UFC with Lou DiBella online I've totally got the UFC. It has almost NONE of the arbitrary rules that other sports do. If I ask myself, "What's the point?" there's actually an anwer: Find out who the best fighter is. So, in other words, thanks for bridging the gap between the artistic and athletic worlds. Now I got a sport.
 
Posted by KMW on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 8:45 AM
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The Wizard Of Aus
Manglende Emne

 
we have a little saying down under witch applys to all who found your comments offensive "HARDEN THE FUCK UP!" fuck p/c self censoring bullshit, nothing wrong with having a bit of a laugh.
 
Posted by The Wizard Of Aus on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 9:06 AM
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The Wizard Of Aus
Manglende Emne

 
P.S We are now entering the Snuggie era!!!
 
Posted by The Wizard Of Aus on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 9:07 AM
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Joe
Joe Deere

 
fuckin a dude!!!! seriously!
 
Posted by Joe on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 10:00 AM
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Dirty Dave

 
hahaha...pretty fucking great man. The first one was too, the only exception that I would make, is that while the t-shirt thing is true, it adds up to sponsor dollars for the fighters so in that way its great.



 
Posted by Dirty Dave on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 11:34 AM
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Victoria
Victoria Warren

 
A MOTHA FUCKIN MEN... IM SOOO PISSED AT MYSELF FOR MISSING YOU WHEN YOU CAME TO NASHVILLE A FEW MONTHS AGO... MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE EATEN THE ACID RIGHT BEFORE I WAS SUPPOSED TO DRIVE UP THERE INSTEAD OF THE NIGHT BEFORE... THEN MAYBE I WOULDNT HAVE WOKEN UP RIGHT AS U WERE GOING ONSTAGE AT ZANY'S.... PLEASE COME BACK SOON!!!

 
Posted by Victoria on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 11:42 AM
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Tiffany
Tiffany Stiles

 
Wow Bruce is interesting. Anyway I agree life is to short to take everything serious laugh a little it goes a long way =~}
 
Posted by Tiffany on Thursday, September 24, 2009 - 12:00 PM
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