the purpose of this blog is just to find some people that can relate. relate to what?? hard to say. youll have to read this whole thing to see what i mean. im posting this on here cause i have quite a few people in my friends list here and all of you are my peers. many of you are tattoo artists or artists in general, or many of you are clients and customers that have noticed the true difference of a custom tattooist as opposed to the everyday tattooist. or even anyone that makes a living from a skilled trade. if that sounds like you, please take a minute to read my ramblings and give me your thoughts.

im gonna open up here and let everyone into my personal life a bit. as you may know, im a full time, fully custom tattooist. i have been for quite a few years now. as the years go on, it is really giving me a very clear persoective of the people in this industry and the clients and customers that keep it going. i am the first to admit that i am not the most book smart motherfucker in the world, but i am quite proud of my common sense. the only thing in this world that i know alot about is tattooing. not saying i know everything about it. i personally feel it is infinate but i do know alot. from hands on experience and common sense thinking. my ass losses sleep over this shit sometimes. just cant shut the brain off sometimes. it ends up paying off in the long run though since this is my carear and all.

so that brings me to this,..... i was asked to work at the shop im at now. i had a very steady tattooing job and was doing just fine. i was promised all these things that i personally thought would make for an all around better tattoo shop. as an employee and for the customers. my carear was really starting to pick up and i felt i needed to focous on my custom work and this shop would be a great place to do that. a co worker had the same views as i did at that time so i asked if he wanted to come with. he agreed.

there we were, with the new shop owners all discussing all the hopes and plans we all had for the shop to really make it what this state needed and to be sucessfull. we were all on the same page with the shops best interest in mind. at the time, the guys respected my opinions and input.

the shop opens and it starts out great. i just bought a house in the area. its a duplex so i needed tennants too. i wanted to remodel a bit first but one of the shop owners need a place to stay at the same time. hes been known to be rather unreliable in life but he always seemed to be cool to me. i have seen him fuck over many people in the years ive known him but for some dumb reason, i thought he wouldnt be like that to me. so i let him move in. he was quite desperate at the time and needed a place to stay emediately. he was willing to move in before the remodeling and even offered to help. whatever it took.

that went bad rather fast. i know they say to never rent to friends cause it ruins friendships. i feel, that moron friends ruin friendships. we are all adults and know what we have to do in life. at least we should know by now. pay your rent, pay it on time, pay or bills, respect your neighbors, repsect your landlord,... you know, common fuckin sense. i dont care who you are, im not gonna put up with that shit. knowing we have to see eachother at work every other day, he still chose to be a fuck up. i can be damn busy when im at work so that shit can bounce right off of me. my job needs to be done and i can zone out, focous on my tattoo and cater to the person im tattooing. leaves no time to care about someone in the other booth.

ive done alot for this shop. unbelievably above an beyond what is ever expected out of an employee. from helping with construction, artwork for everything that we needed, t shirts, cards, stickers, flyers, whatever. promoted like a motherfucker. most of all, i basicly apprenticed every guy that works at the shop. i always did whatever i could to help them in anyway i could to make them better tattooists.  art tech tips to, handling customers, to promoting themselves, and to full on tattooing methods and tips. im very open with my tattooing knowledge, especially when they are interested in listening. ive givin away some rather priceless information to all of them. what they did with all the info was up to them.

a few years have gone by, the promises we were givin slowly swept away. one of the promises i was made was to help me personally out in general. in ways the other guys didnt necessarilly need. my custom work was going full steam and i was getting alot of phone calls, e mails, messages, and just people stoppin in the shop to discuss a tattoo in general. it was getting really hard to get work done on my appointments. i was just stressin and needed a little hand with some of it. a counter helper was promised at all times. they came and went for all kinds of reasons. the other guys offered to pick up the slack instead of having counter help. they must not mind interruptions. i do. well, it just wasnt workin. my frustration of having to do the things myself that i was promised not to do was starting to show to the public.

i was getting hate messages from people tellin me im a stuck up ass hole and just word getting back to me saying more of the same. all of the instances derrived from broken promises. years of  complaining about things i was promissed and quit a job for quickly made me the "complainer" at the shop. the others got the attitude of,... ohh dans just fuckin crabby again. he will be fine. that attitude is pretty offensive to someone who did all the things for them that i did.

being the complainer just got me more upset. anything that i supposedly complained about were effects of the broken promises, the people sticking up for the breaker of the promises, and many valid things that need to be done for the shops best interest that werent being done. owning a tattoo shop isnt as easy or as fun as you thought, huh?? well, i guess it isnt that bad if you accept doing everything half ass. just sucks to have people like that in a permanent buisness.

now this leads me to another instance. the guy i pretty much learned how to tattoo on was in for his appointment with me. ive known him since we were kids. i was the best man in his wedding. as the years went on after i started tattooing, we were becomming more distant. i was focousing on my carear and he was focousing on a family. as were alot of my friends at that point in life. i chose not to do the whole family thing for my own reasons. at least not then or yet but it was the age people start takin that step. whatever. well, he still loved tattoos and all but i could see it getting lower on his priority list. thats fine. i can understand. his hight of tattoo knowledge was whatever i told him years ago or what he saw on miami ink. i have a sleeve going on him thats pretty much a cover up of another sleeve i did on him when i first started. the cover up is totally in my style and some of my most sucessfull cover up work ive ever done. im really surprised how well this is covering.

as we start this cover up, he starts mentioning other plans in styles that i really dont work in. styles and subject matter. he wanted a full backpiece of tribal. at the time, i just made it vocal that i reached my limits with tribal. i personally just finished a few major projects of it on others and just saw more and more people getting it and asking for it that i just didnt want to contribute to that anymore. there are millions of tattooists that can do tribal about as cool as it can get. plus it simply and honestly bores the shit out of me and is hard to work with when adding on anything other than more tribal. then he starts to mention a coi fish for his wife or a butterfly and later decides to change the tribal idea to grafitti, another style i know nothing about. as a buddy to a buddy, i was pretty blunt in telling him my opinions about all that. to me, buddys can talk to each other like that and know not to take it personally. after all, weve been that way to eachother our whole lives and often much more blunt than in this case. around the same time we are about 5 or 6 sittings into his sleeve and have about 8 or more to go. im coloring in something i lined 6 years ago hes tellin me that he plans on only commin once a year to work on this. as many of my clients know, much less my best friend, i do not like to work that way. my style has changed so much between his apts. it hindering the over all look of the finished product. im openly givin him shit about that cause hes paying like a eighth of what i charge everyone else. just cause i feel he deserves that for letting me pratice on him. he has a great job and i guess i just assumed that he could make it in more often than that knowing how much i dont like to work like that.. again, being blunt to a best buddy with no harm intended, i aparently offended him quite a bit. not knowing how much i offended him, i finished up the rest of the appointment. a week or so later, i get an e mail from him telling me how much of a dick i am in general but mostly because of my views on the whole tribal issue, or the way i pick and choose the tattoos i take on. also he will not have me finish anything i started on him. very incomplete and half covered sleeve.

after 13 years of tattooing, ive found ways that work best for me to do my job the best i can. ive had my apt book booked up for 6 months and hated it. too stressfull. i like to keep it around 2 months out. by sticking in my style, larger projects, or the right idea at the right time kinda thing, has kept the apt book perfect. very reasonable. again, most of my clients know this, much less my best friend that i learned how to tattoo on. he may have known but was always against it. he feels that the customer is always right kinda thing. this aint fuckin walmart dude. thats more of a everyday street walk in shop thing. i worked hard for years to better my style and eventually have a clientelle built to stick in to get away from that. through the years im workin on that, hes there the whole time hangin with me but not seeing my aspirations?? i just personally feel he was too close to not notice. all those years and appointments, we were on different pages growing into 2 different kinds of people.  hes a grown man and can turn into whatever kind of person he decides but when it has to do with me and how i run my buisness, or my reputation, i automaticly feel free to speak my opinion on the matter. at the end of the whole e mail he worte me, it said "no response needed". so i didnt. this blog is the extent of it and hes not on myspace.

today, i wake up, check my messages and see all the awesome birthday wishes from everyone. thank you, by the way. then i click on one from another co worker thinkin he was gonna call me an old man or something, but intstead it was another message ending our friendship. he has alot of the same views as the buddy does so i was honestly expecting it.

the other week, the owner leaves out of state and leaves the shop with out gloves and paper towels. no money to go get them either. we go on a percentage basis and the shop supplies the supplies. being out of supplies or very fuckin close is a everyday thing these days. its really dissappointing to see that lack of care in someones own buisness. very hard to be a part of. i guess thats just me. so as im shakin my head in disbelief, im told the supplies are pretty much relying on my current client in the chair at the moment. well, she had to drop off the money the next day for other reasons. shes a regular of mine so that wasnt a problem. the problem was, i wasnt working the next day and she dropped it off with the one who wrote me my last hate mail. i asked him to take my cut out of it, cause it is simply, mine. i was at the point a long time ago that i dont owe the shop anything more than my agreed percentage. it lost its appreciation long ago. well, he spent some of it. not much but i asked him not to. i was offended.

as i find out, my appointment for that day was a tattooist herself. another good client. i was hit with all that and i felt like sharring my story with her out of my disbelief. we did have 4 hrs together and i know she could relate. so i told her. well, my discussion with her mustve put him over the edge. he was upset that i could down talk the shop openly like that. sorry but i was in disbelief and choose to discuss it with a good source. also sorry that it is a sore subject for him. it can be a pretty shitty feeling when that shoe fits so well. i felt, instead of takin it all personal, he shouldve figured out the source of the problem, the owners slackin and broken promises. its been pointed out pretty regularly by way more than just me for a few years now so i dont know why he cant see the real problem.

now i have to go to work tomarrow in a nice and uncomfortable atmosphere. becomming quite the regular vibe at that shop. at least im busy when im there. alot easier to block the bullshit out. i predicted the begining of the end of that shop a while ago. i suggested then that my 2 co workers find a new place to work before it gets too far gone. it was a honest and friendly suggestion. if not, i would wish them  the best of luck but im sensing stress for friends. so if he was pissed at the open talk i had with my client, hes really gonna love this public blog. not to intentionally fuck with him, i just really would like to hear everyones thoughts on all this.

you might be askin, why dont you just go work somewhere else?? i am in the finishing stages of my private studio. the remodeling had a bunch of wrenches in the gears but they are woking on it as i type this. everyone at the shop knows this. maybe thats why im not being considered?? maybe, the"i aint doin anything for him, hes leavin anyway" attitude?? i dont fuckin know. if im asked a question, ill give MY answer and its gonna be honest so you better hope that truth dont hurt so damn bad. thats part of life and common sense,... my opinion.

another major issue mentioned in both hate messages was being a "rock star". im really gettin pretty sick of hearing that shit. whether its directed towards me or another tattooist. ive noticed, the better you are doing for youreself, the more awards you win, or magazine articles you have, whatever, the quicker peple are to call you a rock star or just be a damn hater in general. ive heard people get accused of that since i got in this industry. i was striving to be a custom artist from day one and they were the only ones being called that. so as every year went on, i kept that in the back of my head. kept it there as a reminder not to let it happen to me. its there to this day. never left. i made sure of that. the only place i could "open up" was with my co workers. if i was proud of something or excited about something, i figured i could tell them. them and closer friends. well, i was wrong again. my suggestion to any tattooist,.... if you are proud of anything youve accomplished in your carear, keep it to yourself. even confidence can be very easily taken as a premadonna. lame but appears to be very true. well, i guess i can deal with it cause it isnt gonna make me change a single thing about my work ethic. dont let my stubbornness on the matter hide the hurt and dissappointment. thats is there, i just still have to make a living and hang in there a little bit longer till my private studio is finished. it will be collaborative friendly and guest artist friendly. in other words, exciting.

so, yeah, thats that. welcome into my life. im really not a dick. i promise. everyone has their moments but i fell im pretty under control. i appreciate every client i have. thats why they so easily become good friends. mutual appreciation can make things run very smooth. again, im posting this to get others views on this. someone has to have had a similar situation. what better place to get some feedback than myspace??

thanks to anyone that made it all the way through this. i really hope you leave me a comment and sorry for being a whiny bitch.

dan