Go get married!!!
Seriously, Go do it! I'm not saying I am going to do it anytime soon but then again my parents split when I was 2. Did that affect me? No, I mean hey who needs a male influence, companionship, someone to believe in, or even love? (Give me a God Damn minute would you please?) But seriously without marriage there'd be no weddings! Where else can you party with 80-year-old Grandmother's and 8-year-old Grandkids? Where else can you pour a punchbowl over your head and its considered, "Having Fun"? I have never had a bad time at a wedding! Got a garter one time and danced perversely to "The THONG SONG" in front of the entire wedding, FUN! Once went on an "adventure", as my friend Anthony called it, through the Hotel in Andover Mass., broke into the kitchen and stole a 5 gallon drum of Vanilla Ice Cream. Coincidentally the wedding gift was chocolate fudge and caramel sauce, VERY FUN! Traveled home to Boston for a wedding, no suit, borrowed one from a friend. Half way through the wedding I am on the dance floor rockin my best Bobby Brown and the pants split right up the back. I run to my seat quickly to where my best friend from 2nd grade asks, "What's up with you?" "Are you ready to fall off your chair right now?" I asked. "I just ripped these pants clear up the backside, AND, I'm not wearing underwear!" He fell off his chair and I tied my jacket around my waist and danced the night out, AWKWARD BUT FUN! Some other wedding highlights have included grinding with Grooms Grandmother, telling the Priest he really needed to step up his sermon and of course telling the Bride and Groom (I dated the Bride for 3 months in 8th grade), "I had that ass first!" Bottom line is that we always have fun at weddings, so get married and then invite me!