Dear Santa,

How are things going up at the North Pole? Hope you and the Mrs aren't having too much fun! Don't want you missing Christmas this year because you knocked her up.

I've been a good girl this year (even though my name might appear on the naughty list! I SWEAR to God that it wasn't my fault!). This year I want a bunch of cool shit for christmas! Forget all those poor fuckers in the hospital. I'll have their share! And if you leave me some extra stuff, i'll sneak some Newfie Screech into the Egg Nog that i'm leaving for you. and those brownies, well, let's just say that their "Special" if you get my drift. I thought you might!

Seeing as how you fucking know everything anyway, I'm not gonna type out my wish list cuz then i'm just making myself look like the biggest fucking idiot! You know what I want,m so leave all that good shit under my christmas tree!

Thanks! You Fucking Rock!

-Samantha