Well since a few people were upset when I deleted my myspace whore blog, I figured I'd do another one. This time I'll do it a little different though.
We've all heard of them, and we've all got names for them. Myspace Whores, Myspace Tools, or as I call them, Myspace Wannabe Celebrities. WELL since soooo many people are becoming these I figured I'd help you all out so you can become one too in 7 easy steps! Think of it as a Christmas gift.
So Ladies and Gentlemen, without further adieu, I present the Guide to becoming a Myspace Tool:
Step 1: Sign up for Myspace
This one's pretty obvious. If you already have a Myspace, congratulations you get to skip this step.
Step 2: Take a bunch of pictures of yourself to post
Either at weird angles:
Or only showing half of your face:
Or mirror shots in a bathroom:
Or the ever classic multiple of a similar picture:
Step 3: Write some type of a pseudo-poetic emo blog
Step 4: Overdesign your myspace so it's hardly functional and impossible to read
Step 5: Sprinkle your page with an obscure Myspace Name
and some obscure quotes to make yourself look "deep"
(Deep=Emo by the way)
Step 6: Add more friends than you could ever possibly have in real life. This is usually achieved by adding people who know people you know, that way there's an excuse to have them on your myspace, even though you've never physically met.
Step 7: Once you have these friends, you're ready to start soaking up attention by posting several bulletins at a time!
*Since I usually delete people that do this i had to fabricate my own example. Courtesy of Microsoft Paint.
So now all you have to do is just wait for the comments and messages and things of the like to roll on in! Congratulations! You've been tooled!
But we're not finished, friends. If you want to be a REAL tool, do all of the above. Then create ANOTHER myspace just for close friends and set it on private. Think I'm kidding? See for yourself:
Let THAT soak in for a bit. Goodnight everybody! Merry Christmas!
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