Here are a few random thoughts and I'm out:

I'd do Ugly Betty.  What's the problem?

Never argue with a waiter over a missing order of Ranch Dressing.

Tandem skydiving is really just a date with a man.

I feel bad for truckers.  Now that they can afford gas again, nobody's making trucks.

I've yet to meet anyone who has actually gone to freecreditreport.com but everyone knows the songs by heart. 

Plaxico Burress, a football player named after my favorite gas station, shot himself in the leg, which is stupid, but I'll bet his leg doesn't mouth off anymore. "Break Yourself!"

I've found the easiest language to learn with Rossetta Stone is English.  I whipped right thru.

There's nothing worse than an elitist. I hate those people.  Especially the fat ones with bad teeth.

Why don't we get the Hollywood Paparazzi to find Osama Bin Laden?  Not only could they find him, they could get a picture of his crotch while he's getting off his camel.

Ice Cube is cold, Ice T is cold, Q-Tip is something you use to clean wax out of your ears.

Would somebody please let Beyonce upgrade? 

I used to have faith in the F.D.I.C.  Now it's F.U. I see.

~ RH