Morning pages:

All television is daytime television in Alaska.

Some say scrotum jokes are just low hanging fruit.   I say they're lower this year than they were last year.

In 1849, the first baseball caps were made in New York. That day someone decided to wear one backwards and off to the side.  That was the last time it was cool.  1849.

The economy is even effecting the budgets of magicians. David Blane's next special just has him balancing a broom on his chin.  Cut backs on payroll funds force Mind Freak, Criss Angel, to do his magic in front of real audiences.

Here's the speech Bush should have given in 2003.

My fellow Americans.  United States intelligence agencies have uncovered evidence that Saddam Hussein is developing weapons of mass destruction.  I have carefully studied this evidence and found that it was simply not enough to justify a preemptive war against the country of Iraq.  Rest assured that if concrete evidence of these violations is provided I will encourage a colossal beat down of Hussein and his henchmen.  As far as I'm concerned, the tyranny of his regime and the way they treat their women are grounds enough for a can of American whoop ass.   But, you know,another president once said, "The buck... here's a buck..."  Look, I'm the guy who has to live with this stuff if we're wrong.  I love our military members too much to put them in harms way over possible evidence.  As commander in chief I'd feel an obligation to see those weapons with my own two eyes! I mean hell.

I read The Art Of War.  Even Sun Tzu could tell ya back in the 6th century.  That's before Christ,for Christ's sake. This might be just what the enemy wants.  For us to get bogged down in the desert looking under every camel patty in sight and slipping further and further in debt.  I mean, God forbid our economy tips and we find out we spent it all.  Or say a big ol' hurricane hits land and we can't get proper aid to the citizens because the military is half a world away. I think the Christian thing to do here would be to keep violence as a last resort.  Sun Tzu'll tell ya, "A government should not mobilize an army out of anger, military leaders should not provoke war out of wrath.  Act when it is beneficial, desist if it is not. Anger can revert to joy, wrath can revert to delight, but a nation destroyed cannot be restored to existence, and the dead cannot be restored to life.  Therefore an enlightened government is careful about this, a good military leadership is alert to this.This is the way to secure a nation and keep the armed forces whole."

These lessons have been around for centuries.  So of course I am alert to them.  I am the Decider.  The attacks on September eleventh might make a lesser man over react, but I'm not an idiot. Good night and God bless.