Somebody has finally spoken out about one of my social concerns! The blurb is pasted below, preceding my commentary. This is from the "Inner Life" opinion page in the  Dec. 2007 issue of Ladies Home Journal:

"If you've ever listened to your sister-in-law divulge the details of her colonoscopy at a family gathering, then you know what it's like to be the victim of too much information, or TMI. Tell-all blogs and social networking Web sites, not to mention reality TV, only add to the onslaught. Unfortunately, this flagrant full disclosure offends more than just your sense of decorum and decency. 'It's caused by a big cultural shift toward narcissism,' says Jean Twenge, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at San Diego State University. 'By talking endlessly about themselves, people lose the ability to show compassion and see a situation from someone else's perspective.' You don't have to be a part of the problem. If you find yourself on the receiving end of TMI, change the subject right away or excuse yourself to the women's room, so it doesn't seem as though you're passing judgment on the person or what she has to say. And for yourself, vow to keep your personal details in the right place: a diary or a conversation with close family or friends who can handle it or would be interested or concerned." by Jennifer Castro.

First off, I'm all for being open, honest and not being completely frightened of self-disclosure. In fact, it is part of my own instincts to share my feelings or opinions, not withholding many details, or be too afraid to speak up. However, my biggest high-five to this article is where it frames the kind of ("shift toward narcissism") behavior where someone feels like they NEED to finish all the details to their story, that the attention has to be on them, or that if they don't get to share their story in this certain conversation, they've been cheated. Granted, I've been there many times myself (heh, Billy Cosby quote! anyway). Brian Regan does a bit on "Me Monsters" who "wait for your mouths to stop moving so they can immediately top your story with one of theirs." He then likens their attempt of discourse to a gorilla grunting and pounding its chest. It is awesome.

Anyway, the biggest targets I have of Compulsive TMIers are on TV right now. For those of you who watched Sex and the City or now watch Grey's Anatomy, those are prime examples. In the conversations between the main characters, they usually disclose quite a bit of information and are very self-centered. And most of their conversations have this trait which I just HATE: After they group up for talking, one person commences the conversation by blabbering about themselves, usually involving a complaint about something. THEN, instead of the rest of the group reacting to that person's revelation or complaint, another person in the group switches the focus to them, and then THEY start a filibuster of their own revelation or complaint. Sometimes this cylce goes through the whole group until they've all sufficiently complained about what's bothering THEM, and hardly reacting on each other's stories. And IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY OF THEM MAD! It's like they expect each other to be self-centered and to respond by diverting the focus to themselves.

I know some people that would get upset at this conversational road-to-nowhere, including myself, if this happened at all their lunch conversations. However, sadly, I see this social trend infecting people everywhere, so I am so very glad that there is finally an article addressing it. This is actually an age-old problem, as we all struggle with self-centeredness, pride and lack of perspective. We are corrupted humans, after all. But I do feel like this is one social roadblock that we all could overcome by becoming a bit more observent, steping back for a second and considering other people's situations, emotions and concerns, and evaluating your place in the current social circle. With practice, this can become a good and necessary habit. And with that I think we advocates for personal dignity and social awareness can change the world! Though I have been called an idealist on occasion...

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