So I haven't really blogged in a while. and not because I have nothing going on in my inner noggin, but cuz there's too much going on in there. Sometimes I feel like I need to stop living in my head. It's like I have an alternate universe in here, which has led to some very strange comments that connect to nothing in the outer world, though for some reason, at that instant, I thought that there was a connection so I said something, only realizing after the fact that there was only a connection with what was happening inside my little universe. Hmmmm. I wonder if I will ever be able to stop this....advice anyone?

Anyway, here are some current realizations of moi and some things I am now scared of because of that.

1) Material possessions are meaningless. Yet, I want more and more stuff these days. Suddenly, after I realize this through and through, I think of all the video games and dvds I need, the new cars, the foot massagers, the 4wheelers, the drumsets. I can justify all these things. Line-drawing is the problem. Sometimes I think if a disaster stripped me of my stuff, I might be better off building from the ground up and being forced to prioritize. But I really hope a disaster doesn't happen.

2) Nothing really matters. Well, nothing in comparison to where our souls are centered. You've really just gotta let some things go, even if they seem open-ended or unresolved. Maybe this is why I LOVE the book of Ecclesiastes so much. But yet, I get all in a tizzy when I hear that someone might think I'm ditzy or strange or that someone misunderstood my good intentions. Sometimes ya gotta just be, I guess. Sometimes you gotta just do what you like to do, and if someone else is getting more attention or if you feel like you might miss out on some other things that might only border on importance, just go with what you know gotta do. Yet I worry about this and that and this's connection to that and the other that.
Hmmm, I love how I'm never vague.

3) Relationships make the world go around, both inside and out. As in my inner self is perpetually on a path of self-discovery and connection-making, as well as my outer self when engaged in quality relationships. Yet sometimes I love making relationships so much that I make too many ,in different places, and can't give them all sufficient time and effort so that they remain fruitful on either end. But I don't want to lose any of them. Please don't go away, I like you.

4) It's all vanity! Yes, I know I said this already. But it's just all over the place. I drove to work today and saw 3 gas guzzling vehicles speed by me trying to race each other. At 7:55 am. All were tricked out trucks that were nearly as unnecessary as the H2-4s. I saw a BICYCLE with spinning rims the other week. I look at countless myspace and facebook pictures with the common pose of a face full of straws in two or more drinks, and the person is usually wearing sunglasses. I was talking to Chris about this and he was like "yeah, it's just because they think that that's what other people think is cool." I counted 8 identical photo arrangements of that nature just in 5 minutes of myspace browsing. And also in my time-killing myspace browsing, even among people my age and slightly older, I noticed that people post countless photos of nothing but them and two or three other people, smiling or sticking their tongues out. No pretty background, no real interesting point to the picture. Especially since those two people were in like 60 other pictures in their albums, so there was really no point in that other photo. But taking tons of group shots makes you cool, apparently. Especially if you are holding a drink in your hand. Because that means that you are at a party and hence, you are "it". Does nobody realize how boring our world has gotten?

Anyway, I gotta go do something interesting and meaningful or I'm going to implode. Catch you later, all you relationships of mine. I value you almost to the point of obsession. On that note, bye!