sofia plus 2 super!

and by that i mean that we are two gigs beyond what was sofia super! klaus had told us that we would never forget our gig in sofia, that the few musicians he knows who have played there said the same. and too true! i'd say that, for a day on the road in a strange land, this is now the ultimate, the most memorable, and for so many reasons. let me begin.

i made mention in my last post that we were about to head off into the long dark night. and this was not necessarily to give an impression of foreboding. we all had to brace ourselves for this one. that, rather than being one day on the road, this would be more like two days compressed into one, with sleep being precious. but maybe not necessary. too true, all that. we flew out of cologne, after an 8 hour drive from rostock, and had a two hour flight into sofia. we fly on GERMANWINGS airline, on of the new super cheapo national carriers here in europe, forced to wait in a special passport control holding area, then get on a bus that would drive us all of 40 feet to the waiting airliner. 40 feet. then more cattle call.... no seat assignments means that every soul dashes to the open front and rear doors, and dives into the seat of their choice. if they are on the plane first. and nothing is free once you are seated. a sip of water. a coffee. no matter. the flight, as i mentioned, was blessedly quick, and we poor out of the plane and into another herding area to have passports checked and stamped and such. we were met outside the airport by LAZAR (not like our local retail hero, but short for lazarus instead), who plopped us down into a van. and off we went into the night, driving a most willy-nilly route from airport to BLU--BOX, our venue. the ride, at 5:30 pm, was the first of many amazements. small retail shacks lined the streets, in front of folks houses, and every once in a while there would be a small, poorly lit and undecorated room with maybe a few people sitting there, smoking. doing what? dunno. speed bumps lined any route with homes along it. around one bend, we pass a big party, people dancing in the frozen street and yard, holding babies and beers, little kids jumping around. more strange little shops. bumpy bumpy. no nappy.

20 minutes later and we arrive. the venue is loaded with kids already, many of them wearing the laminate to designate crew. many just leaning on the stage, drinking and smoking. we check out the rental gear. everything there is a o.k.. then through the labyrinth of this hall, which used to be a cinema, and many associated rooms and other halls within the same rambling structure. through a long hallway room, filled with laughing and drinking and smoking and colorful characters, who turn out to be the other bands, and of course their friends. one pal with magenta hair stops me, cocks his head forward, and gives me a "cheers". i mention my name, and ask for his. trill the "r"s in this one, long trills, and look over your glasses, and that will just about do it... "me MR. MATA HARI". o.k., cool. up the stairs and through several locked doors, that are always locked then behind us, and up and down the hall, to our "green room", this already stocked with plenty of booze and finger snacks. the floor is missing in several places. we all to the last man poor drinks and then, following lazar all the way, go back through the maze to do our endless sound check. somehow there are more and more people in the hall. just sort of about. and a crew of maybe 20 setting the stage and the mics and such. crazy. we finish our check 20 minutes after the doors were supposed to be opened.

two other bands tonight, and it turns out they both are fronted by an famous bulgarian musician. the first, KGB, a big swing band fronted by bulgaria's original punk rocker. i never got his name, but he reminded me in voice and demeanor and dance of our own dear BRUCE HARTNELL, but wiggling in a suit and suspenders. between every song he had the crowd, sold out at 1000 folk, in stitches. and the whole room rocked and danced through every number. so cool. smiles on every face. and including the band, apparently this band had not played in 5 years, and were cajoled into reuniting for this gig, which had the music community all riled up, such was the excitement generated for our visit. the second band was SKODA, fronted by my new friend, mr. mata hari. who, whilst his band set their gear, delivered a non-stop half sung half spoken dialogue/diatribe. i thought it was sort of "mr. bungle"-ey. this man has a huge voice. the band is ready, and they just merge into a set of crazy rhythms, crazy vocals, crazy horns. crazy all around.

we got ourselves ready, with our outfits, drinks, some funny dinner of potatoes and cheese. god bless these peoples. my kind of gut therapy. skoda is done. we ask mr. mata hari to introduce us. and away. and the same, intense joy from the crowd all night long. i could not say that they were any more loud or happy. just that that was the vibe of the entire room all night. worked up and rocking out. the room so smoky that i couldn't see the back. lights dimly show through the fog. i know that every square inch is taken. i can see the balcony, the crowd up there dancing their brains out. all beautiful women up front tonight. were there any men there at all? they were all in back. sent their girls up front for a good time that they can take home with them after the show. this was like full on rock star night. screaming shrill and loud after every song. girls singing the words to every song. i could have played for them all night. but we have a schedule to keep. to get through our long long night.

we are off to a party, at a bar, sponsored by our sponsors. thirty shots of abysinth are lined up. not little ones either. mr. mata hari arrives, with a small coterie, and we are only allowed to stay for 20 minutes. our van has a 6 hour drive, to bucharest, where we fly out at noon this very day. all of sofia was viewed at night.... and so we have a very very bumpy, somehow muddy, whiskey soaked drive. i don't remember falling asleep. totally natural. totally schlumped down, splayed across the aisle. .i wake up at seven a.m., the sky just barely light. we are at the romanian border. now things get really, uhhh, interesting.

why? we are often living like cattle on tour. we wait and wait, we get pushed around and corralled and driven. we walk around looking for food and succor. we arrive at the airport in bucharest, and take pictures with lazar, and we are in the middle of a rotunda, and there is nothing obvious to do with ourselves. is there a place to check in? not apparent. it is so hard to describe the overall disorientation of this place. as if we are looking at what you think might be regular scenarios, and yet they are not. we bumble around with our guitars. one man has the sense to ask someone. we go down a little ramp, and see that they are checking in only one flight at a time. an old man wears his winter cap, made of horse hair, causing him to look like elvis presley. sort of. our flight comes up, and we ask for seats, but it is another general boarding. which you might think would be good. but that is only if you love getting in shoving matches with old ladies. in the security line. in the lobby. the lobby. there is a lobby. but there are no signs. 5 non-operational t.v. monitors. airplanes 500 feet away on the tarmac. we wait and wait. we are bad, mad cows. i am, of course, hung over, sleepless (i did manage 3 hours in the van), and so, exhausted. i loiter and try to look as punk and pickled as i can, incessantly tapping my foot, looking glummer than glum, looking wistful out the window. at long last, and as if by telepathy, we learn it is time to board. we get in another match of shovings with all, only to get on a bus, and then make a mad dash, scrambling to find a seat, shoving into a seat, shoving luggage, fuck this. i manage an aisle, i look insane. no one asks to sit beside me. relief comes only in the smallest packages. we fly into dortmund. and real relief comes when i finally spy the bus. even though i hate the bus. heaven help me. i actually manage a small sleep. heaven help us all.