Number [three] in the top five all-time breakup list? [Charlie Nicholson], [sophomore] year of college.

As soon as I saw her, I realized she was the kind of girl I'd wanted to meet ever since I was old enough to meet girls.

I mean she was different. She was dramatic, and she was exotic. And she talked a lot, and when she talked, she said remarkably interesting things about music, books, film and politics. And she talked a lot.

And she liked me. She liked me. She liked me. At least I think she did.

We went out for [two years]. And I never got comfortable

Why would a girl, no, a woman like [Charlie] go out with me?

I felt like a fraud. I felt like one of those people who suddenly shave their heads and said they'd always been punks. I was sure I'd be discovered at any second.

And I worried about my abilities as a lover.

And I was intimidated by other men in her [design department]... and became convinced she was gonna leave me for one of them.

Then she left me for one of them. The dreaded [Marco].

And then I lost it. Kinda lost it all you know? Fiath, dignity, about fifteen pounds. When I came to a few months later, I found to my surprise I had flunked out of school. Started working at a [record shop].

Some people never got over 'Nam, or the night their band opened for Nirvana. I guess I never really got ovre [Charlie]. But the thing I learned from the whole [Charlie] debacle is that you gotta punch your weight. You see, [Charlie], she's out of my class. She's too pretty. Too smart. Too witty. Too much. I mean what am I? I'm a middleweight. Hey I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but I'm certainly not the dumbest.

I mean, I've read books like UnbearbleLightness of Being, and Love in the time of Cholera. And I think I've understood them. They're about girls, right? Just kidding.

But I have to say, my all-time favorite book is Johnny Cash's autobiography, Cash by Johnny Cash.