i pin myself down.
tunnels are best at night trust at dawn.
and these are not full bloom.
they are partials &inaccurate/s
&misinterpretations and pretentions
it's time &memory &madness.

the feeling of total desire gone raw
&rigid and emptied.
it's the growl in your stomach
&being completely weightless
and unsatisfied.

it's looking at yourself through telescopes
&lashes kissing skin
an ode to blushing cheeks
&the bones, the marrow, the structure of hope.
(that keeps you alive that wants you to die)

it's the sandpaper against your heart
to rubs off all the love
+when there's nothing it can do
it's finally understanding.

you dont hold me like you used to
and your eyes look like they've seen too much
cause it's always some excuse, "too tired, too obtuse"
you look so far removed, this time i fear i'm losing you

i'm nicotine, i'm a cash machine
i'm the color green and you should have seen the looks i just recieved
i need a reason to let go, an intervention, a lullaby
something to cure me, please believe me

i'm trying to find truth in words, in rhymes, in notes,
in all the things i wish i'd wrote cause
i feel like i've been losing you
each night it ends too soon