Original Post Date: 3/26/2006

Yes, it's that time again. Sad but true. As usual, too much isolation time has sat me down behind the keyboard, with a box of Pop-Tarts and a few cans of Coca-Cola. So while you cats take in the horror that is my mind, I'm going to go smoke.

Yes, I did go smoke even though you didn't have to wait on me to do that, The 1/4 second pause to glance down at the next paragraph was not enough of a wait to equate to the ten minutes it took to exit, smoke, and return. I did, however learn on this break that it is not wise to chug mustard and then go smoke. I have two eyewitnesses that can testify in favor of that. So, my teeth feel gritty... and I want to go lie down. Unfortunately, I have to type. Now I did want to get a swig of tequila in, but I feel it's best to keep my integrity and not put myself in a position where I need an outside influence to drive my creativity. I'm doing this for you. Not that it would matter because I would puke it up twelve seconds later as a result of the mustard scenario.

Yes, I use my large vocabulary, yes I type properly all the time. Except when I type "screw allah i will eat bacon" or "allahdamnit" because that adds to the humor factor of the material. If anyone is ever offended that I use grammar on the Internet, sod off because I have to do webpage work where professionalism remains a goal, so this comes second nature. Though if you are offended and feel the need to complain, don't bother. I will not be able to read your typing which seems like you slammed your face on the keyboard in order to broadcast your thoughts. That doesn't work either by the way. I have another eyewitness that can testify to that too.

I think the Evil Dead movie series drives my creativity. That's not true. It drives my insanity, because calling my work 'creative' is like calling Paris Hilton attractive. My work is a breastless, cocaine-driven harlot. Start sending your angry letters. Anyway, I've had Evil Dead II playing for the past 39 hours and I've been... Cizzle. It's not a different personality that I need to be medicated for, it's a different mood... that I should probably be medicated for. Though everyone seems to be on some kind of medication now, and I find myself to be one of the few people left in this world that doesn't really have anything wrong with his personal life that would scar someone. In all seriousness, my parents are not abusive, they are married and living together, I don't have some weird illness/ eating disorder/ mental disorder, or any other skeletons in my closet. I could have been an outstanding young man in part to my living conditions but... eh, shit happens. Yeah, I went way off-track on that one, but I do believe that a person has the right to scratch their ass without being handed a perscription.

Moving on, I'm starting to think that there are very few people that know how to solve their problems anymore. I generally step in when someone is ranting about what is going on with them, and offer a solution. Granted nobody takes my advice which may or may not have worked to begin with, but they end up making their bad situations worse. I wouldn't be at all shocked if they have to go out of their way to screw themselves over. I have a unique ability to bottle up all the thoughts and feelings that I shouldn't share without later exploding about it and getting put in the dog house for a while. Every thought and feeling I've expressed has been carefully taken into consideration with how I think and feel (Heh, ironic) they should be handled. So, I don't say the first thing that comes to mind, and I don't make slip-up curses, and I don't scream at someone because I get pissed off. Come to think of it, I don't get pissed off all that often. Once every two months or so, I'll be thrown into a phase of rage because of something that some dumb bastard has done. The last one was about a month ago. One eyewitness to testify. Everyone is irritated too easily and they don't have the little thing in their brain to tell them, "Hey, screw it. It's not of any importance," so they're always mumbling about something pissing them off. Calm down, guys, you'll be a lot better off.

Also, think before you do something stupid with your hair. I've seen one stupid mullet, one stupid mohawk, and one stupid shaving of the head in the past month or so. Really dumb work, guys. Buy hats, you know who you are. Granted I have the long headbanger hair that most people in their right minds would frown upon, but I can tuck and tame the greasy rat tail that follows me around all day. I call that solving my problem (hint, hint).

If there are any kids reading this that haven't screwed up their lives yet, keep going on that right track. If you haven't started smoking, don't do it. If you haven't tasted alcohol, don't bother. Drugs are the worst of the worst, so stay the hell away from that too. If you haven't had sex, wait and wank. If you haven't had a wank yet, yeah, don't do that either. If I don't get something done at school, it's not going to get done, because when I leave, I'm really preoccupied with getting a cigarette, getting a drink, or watching porn. Granted these are petty 'addictions' which can be easily broken for me, but I don't care to break them. Cigarettes have made me become apathetic toward everything and everyone. Sorry guys, some of you just aren't important to me anymore. Shit happens. So if my free time consists of smoking and sleeping and I've blown everything else off because of it, needless to say that drugs are a no-go too. I've seen several people sleep all day at school, then leave to go get high and blow everyone off. I'm being totally serious that it just makes you look like a shitty person. Stay off of everything that you as of now consider taboo. Don't give in to anyone's pressure, and tell someone to fuck off for calling you straight edge. Honestly, being clean makes you better than me and most people I know. Save all of that shit for when you're out of high school and can legally smoke or drink, and are in a marriage where you can seriously spend the rest of your life with your mate. I'm tired of seeing cases where dude has sex with chick, chick ends up knocked up, spits out baby, dude grows mullet and bails on wife. Oh yeah, don't offer anyone drunken sex either. A few people can back me up on that one. [/Public Service Announcement]

While I'm on that topic, the hardcore image and hardcore dancing needs to stop too. And emo people. Trends are never good. 'Nuff said. Also, don't buy band merchandise if you can't represent the band. I don't mean that as you can't buy a t-shirt because you aren't the manager, I mean don't buy their stuff if you don't like the band. We call these people posers, they need to pull their heads out of their asses also.

Not only is this not a blog, it's turned into me preaching, as if I have any authority at all. Not that you guys care about what I have to say, but I said it, and I don't care that you don't care. I'll spark a new topic here... uhh... okay, here we go:

Why has entertainment gone down the drain? Bands are releasing shittier and shittier material, movies are going further down the drain, and video games are uninteresting and shallow. Don't rush your music, don't remake a remake of a movie, and don't start work on a video game that you know is going to be terrible. The movies lost respect with me a long time ago, and the bands have been going downhill for a while too, but the video game quality was a surprise. We're in the next generation of consoles, and I think I'm going to stick with my Xbox and PS2, thank you. The Xbox 360 came out and... that was it. The PSP came out and a few mediocre games came out, and everyone seems to be obsessed with making new hardware for it. I know, it is a powerful handheld system, but it's got the name PlayStation Portable because it's supposed to be a Portable PlayStation. The PlayStation didn't have a camera on it, so work on the games first before you make it into a Swiss army knife of technology. Don't get me wrong, I love the thing and it will be my next major purchase because it does play movies, music, ROMS, and the ability to browse the Internet, but there aren't really any games that make me urinate myself when I see demonstrations. Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories is probably the first game I'll buy for it, but I know it's not as great as it's predecessors. Wait, that won't be the first game I'll buy for it, because that's going to be on the PS2 before I can get my hands on the PSP. If you're going to port a game, make it better than the original system version. It usually happens a year after the initial console release, so get rid of the bugs and glitches before you put it out again. Even better, developers, play the hell out of the game for 18 hours a day, every day, for a week, and see what goes wrong with it before throwing it on the shelves. The profit comes after the product. Keep that in mind.

I've gotten a lot of typing done for an hour. I should be impressed, but I'm not sure that I said anything worthwhile. Maybe I'm wrong and made some interesting points, but I think because I actually had valid points on important topics, it took away from what I'm usually going on about. My character is evolving, and I'll stay true to my roots, but use my voice/ hands and keyboard in order to express things of moderate importance, as opposed to the "Why I could never work at Taco Bell" ramble I had a while back.

I'm going to slap a 'Done!' sticker on this bad boy and call it a night. Volume IV will be coming at you soon, and, like your favorite bands' albums, will be like a tweaked original version with the same sound, but different lyrics. Screw you guys, that was a great analogy for what I'm talking about.

*Outtie 5000*