Original Post Date: 11/25/2005
Boredom sets in once again, and once again I decide to ramble for more evidence against me when Whitey decides to throw me in the nut house. And by "Nut House" I mean an insane asylum, not that gay bar down on 9th. Either way, I might have a large man force himself on me while I'm in the bathroom. See, I've got nothing better to do and neither do you. Three days of solitary confinement can really drive someone into thinking up crap like this.
I've seen a surplus of stupidity recently. Granted, I'm the one who bribed my best friend with five small Tootsie Rolls to urinate on an elecric fence in the middle of a residential neighborhood while I watched from a safe distance and laughed my 'nads off, but at least that was funny. I'm sure you have your own experiences with witnessing a complete dullard, so think about that individual. Now, why are these people allowed to reproduce? What happened to natural selection? It seems that being an intellectual retard has some survival value. Something tingles my Spidey Sense, telling me me that all of the idiots are going to have the cushy jobs where they do next to nothing and get paid. Meanwhile, I have to be a chimney sweeper. Granted I'm not a genius, nor do I claim to be by far, but at least I can pick my damn hands up and do something useful (or diabolic, depending on who pays more). World hunger is still an issue, right? Yeah, why don't whe just breed dumbasses and use their demon spawn as meals for third-world countries. We'll dress them up like turkeys as to not piss off the liberals, so it'll all be okay.
I'm getting tired of this whole "getting up to take a piss" thing. I think one of these days I'm just going to put a bucket under my computer desk. Or maybe just a litter box in the corner of my bedroom. Either would be an interesting conversation piece if I ever have anyone over (which I won't). They'll see the litter box in the corner and wonder why it's there. "No, the cats' litter box is in the basement, that one's for me. What? What?! Where are you going?" Good times. Or even better, what it would be like if nature called while in my room with someone? "Oh, sure, like you haven't seen a guy shit in a box before..."
I've said it before and God damn it, I will say it again: iTunes is my only friend. Everyone should pray that I never get my hands on an mp3 player, 'cause everyone will be dead to me. At school, in public, social events, people are just going to have to leave me the hell alone. "You mean to tell me that you interrupted Black Sabbath to say hello? Oh you are so off my Buddy List. Wait until RampItUp72 hears about this.."
Editor's Note: this is the part where I get up take a whiz, only reinforcing the idea that I need a bucket.
Short Random Thoughts:
-They sell bookmarks for a dollar. Why not just use the dollar? Then when I'm finished with the book, I can go buy a taco.
-They make shot glasses, but not shot contacts.
-Midgets.
-The above is so short because they're short people. Ha ha ha!
-Slutty girls will soon become ninjas. I base this behind the fact that I can never find a slutty girl, yet I know they're around.
-Why do zombies never wear eyepatches? Surely there was a pirate zombie. If so, did he have a parrot zombie on his shoulder?
-Holy shit. The Scorpions just came in and rocked me like a hurricane.
-So I paid Chuck Norris to give them all roundhouse kicks to the jaws.
-Titty fucking: more fun than it looks.
-Loneliness: reminds me of what I'll never have. See above.
-A hermaphrodite and a bisexual would make the perfect couple. If I could only find a bisexual.
-Oh shit, did I just type that?
-Time for a quick escape.
Outtie 5000