for a long time this is why we weren't hanging out. because you had changed so quickly, i didn't know who you were for the longest time. but at the same time it was because i knew i was changing quickly too, and i didn't want you to see what i was doing to myself. What scares me is that your making my same mistakes, and i can't tell you not to, and i can't make you not do them. I can only help you once you get thier, i can only help guide you through it once you've already done it.

People change, people drift. it's life. enjoy what you have now because one day it wont be around anymore, and it will happen. as we all get older shit changes, relationships, life style choices, moving away, college. it's something you can't get away from. It's not like middle school when everyone is a clone of everyone else.

I think you and i are alot alike when it comes to the whole being a shy person. Because you and I have both come along way from that stage. But ya know when you get treated like shit for so long you can't help but be a bitch. We both share this problem. I think the difference is that i had more of a support in this area, i had everyone telling me i needed to be this way because it would help me. You had everyone leaving you. I wont lie or pretend, their were days when i would get so mad at you, their were times when i didn't like what you had become. But i understand why now. And in reality i hated in you, what i hate in myself.

I think the fact that our friendship has survived this long is an amazing thing. Cause we've both done fucked up shit to each other, and i mean it made it through middle and high school. thats something most people can't say has worked for them. You and i will drift from time to time. We did this year. But i think it will always come back, even if it's not as soon as either of us would like. I think you and i drift because were so alike, yet so incredibly different that we get frustrated with each other.

You don't have to know what your doing now, just because everyone else is rushing off to college doesn't mean much. Give it time, try different things, and eventually you'll find what you like. You don't need to be on your own just because your not in high school anymore. their's no need to rush everything.

Just be careful with some of your choices. because sometimes you scare me. i don't want you to end up how i am now.