We just got back from our longest tour ever and are gearing up for another 12 day excursion. So that I can remember all this shit later (and also for your entertainment if you have some time on your hands), I'm going to do a day-by-day recap of the entire trip with just a couple of sentences per city. Kind of like a speed round, I guess. Ready? Me neither.

If you are shocked and appalled that I left something funny or really interesting out, write a comment! I often forget things. Ask the band.

AUSTIN Nate, Peter Stanley (handyman genius) and I leave at midnight from Denton to buy a 48-foot, burnt orange 1986 Bluebird school bus from a strip club owner in Austin. SHREVEPORT The three of us drive 4 hours back to Denton in the bus, the band cleans it and installs the seats, couches, and a recliner in Animal House-eske fashion, and we leave for Shreveport, arriving 90 minutes late for a sweet house party. LAFAYETTE/BATON ROUGE Roll into Lafayette, Sput gives a clinic for drum nerds, then roll to Baton Rouge where we meet up with our weekend partners in crime, New Orleans-based rockers The Revivalists. NEW ORLEANS/LAFAYETTE This day deserves multiple sentences. It may win the gold star for our most ridiculous 24 hours. Wake up in Baton Rouge to a bus that won't start. Get a jump from 2 guys driving by that just happened to have seen us play the week before in a different city. Weird. Still doesn't work. Nate realizes it's because he had the bus in reverse instead of neutral. Nice. So we leave for our clinic in Loyola New Orleans 90 minutes late. Driving, driving, driving, realize we got bad directions from a normally reliable source (we love you, Boo) and end up way off course. Figure it out, get back on track, only to hit construction in New Orleans. Show up really, really late to the clinic. All the kids left. Except 3. So we threw them in the bus, drove to a bar, and got them drunk. Revivalists (aka nicest, coolest dudes ever) jump in the bus and we play a badass show in Lafayette after which a Louisianan fan tells two band members that she would like to (a) "take you home and sop you up like a biscuit" and later, drunker, (b) "take you home and f*ck you like a biscuit." Amazing day. NEW ORLEANS Play an awesome show in NOLA with a few friends sitting in- Vadim Neselovskyi (of the Monk Institute) and Jason Marsalis (of, well, you know). Jason grabs the sticks from Sput mid-solo and destroys the end of "Native Sons." It'll be on YouTube soon. Drop Sput off at the airport, scoop up Taron to sub. Rad clinic at Loyola on Monday... our friends Donald Ramsey (Scofield), Jason Mingledorff (Papa Grows Funk), and Robert Glasper come hang out. Jason Marsalis subs for Sput and kills. I send Sput a text in Texas telling him he's fired. Jason laughs. Sput cusses. HATTIESBURG Driving to Birmingham, stop in H-burg and have dinner with our friends Jordan, Scott, and Marsjam, say bye, bus doesn't start. This time for real. Scott tries to jump the bus. Jumper cables melt into yellow paste. Abandon jumping idea. Crash with friends. Wake up next day, have several mechanics come by, and a pot-bellied Mississippian finally fixes a "bad waaahr", or "bad wire" under the bus. Off to Birmingham. BIRMINGHAM Our session with William Barnes gets mostly crippled by the bus delays, but we still have fun tracking. Give a great clinic at UAB and play an awesome venue (Workplay) that night with great bands Chad Fisher Group and Carlost Pino's Smokin' Newports, followed by band antics (Dustin...). ATHENS Open for a P-Funk tribute at the Georgia Theater, drive to our friend Annie's house in Atlanta. ATLANTA Disappointing turnout at our first show with Jeff Sipe (Aquarium Rescue Unit!) & Bobby Lee Rodgers, who kick total ass. ASHEVILLE The pups sit in with Jeff and Bobby (who later gives us an awesome pep talk), we befriend a crazy but awesome chef who puts half of us up and cooks homemade fried chicken, and I almost crash the bus getting out of his mountain driveway. ATHENS Back to Athens and Farm 255 for an intimate but really fun show at our favorite restaurant ever (Amy, Lowry, and crew, we adore you). Drive to Bullock's brother's house in the middle of the night with no heat on the bus. We hadn't figured it out yet. Balls freeze. NASHVILLE Pick up Sput from the airport and play a show with our good friend Derrek Phillips (of Charlie Hunter fame). Next day, have a great rehearsal at our homey Phil Mistretta's place, an unplanned house party/concert ensues with a great crowd, and Phil's female roommates get harassed. By us. ASHEVILLE Another gig in Asheville. I accidentally leave the bus in neutral with no parking brake and it almost steamrolls a mini-van. Whew. HARRISONBURG Drive through VA to our favorite town on the eastern seaboard, where we play a ridiculously fun show and have a dance party with our favorite girls at the Mad House. Soooooo awesome. CENTREVILLE Drive 90 minutes north and have an amazing dinner/loads of beer at my mama's house. I love her to death. RICHMOND Play a really fun show with a sweet reggae band. My buddy Jay from my high school gospel band comes out. I was the little scrawny white kid. He says I still am. CENTREVILLE Back to my mom's. More food. More beer. Awesome. PHILLY Drive up to Philly and play with an f-ing great band called Highbrid at Chris' Jazz Cafe. Spanky (Tye Tribett, Kanye West) sits in on drums and throws down on Intelligent Design. An intern from Ropeadope Records comes out, and I show him the bus. Really cool dude. ROANOKE Biggest surprise of the tour, by far. The promoter kicks complete ass and we arrive to a packed house on a Tuesday night. Can't leave the stage without getting mauled. Cougars hit on us. More band antics after the show. Totally sweet. HARRISONBURG We get crazy and decide to play at Clementine again, this time doing two sets of cover material by Weather Report and Headhunters. We go down a night early for a cook-out with our favorite Mad House ladies. Best burger I've ever had. Emily, please comment below and tell the good people what you put in it. Jesus. Wake up and eat at the amazing Little Grill Co-op. I get a phone call from our swamp queen Jess saying that Ropeadope has offered to sign us. I sh*t a brick. Our show that night kicks booty and we drive straight to NYC afterward. NEW YORK Bill flies in from London! Play a show at the Bowery Club with the abso-f*cking-lutely ridiculous Becca Stevens Band. Holy God. Awesome. The pups get breakfast with our friend Ari Hoenig at a spot near his house. Nate asks the foreign owner for a big plate of food. The owner comes out with a 5-pund brick of hashbrowns and mutant omelet. I deduce the guy is Greek. I'm right. Nate hurts. We spend the rest of the day with people we care about. My friend Henry Hey gives me the new Rudder album and a t-shirt. BOSTON Play a packed show with two sweet bands from Berklee, thanks to our homey Cole DeGenova. Get to see my brother and my cousin, which rarely happens. Tour bus gets broken into during our set. My laptop, passport, headphones, and shoes get jacked. And the new Rudder album. Same for Maz. We are crushed. I lose every piece of music I've ever written and all the details for the rest of the tour. Kids, always back-up to a hard drive. MONTREAL Leave early in the a.m. for Canada. Accidentally leave Bob at a rest stop. Realize it after ten miles. Customs is a BITCH. Hardest time ever. Bored agent, apparently. Finally get through after 2 hours of interrogation and give my favorite clinic of the whole trip at Vanier. A student offers up his parents house to all of us (they were out of town- brought back high school nostalgia) and we finally get a chance to chill. Play the next night in Montreal with our homies in Pocket Change. They kick f-ing ass. Then over to the poutine spot for late-night grub with our awesome Quebecois friends. Roxane teaches us French. C'est de ma faute. For real. Drive through the night to Toronto. TORONTO Arrive at our favorite tour stop on earth- The Rex. Naps in the hotel, spend the day bumming around the city, fun show at night. Day 2, more bumming and hanging with great friends, another fun show, though both were smaller turnouts than hoped. Tom comps our astronomical band tab. We love the Rex. ANN ARBOR After another customs debacle, we make it to Ann Arbor for a badass house party. Tony saves my ass with a working bass amp and his mom gives me cookies. Rad show and new friends made. MADISON Roll to Madison for a week of living at the Edenfred artist residence while rehearsing for a live record with vocalist Francesca Johnson. The residence is unbelievable. David, our host, is unbelievable. Justin and I get haircuts. Fun clinic at Fran's old high school. The set at the live recording goes really well. Find out on the break that the equipment malfunctioned and nothing got recorded. Say screw it and Fran comes up again to kick bootay. Sometimes things are nicer the second time around. Justin falls asleep under a pile of chairs in the club. We almost leave him. Bid farewell to David and Edenfred, look forward to doing it again next spring. MILWAUKEE My birthday. Great clinics at Marquette High. Roll to the show, can't get in yet. We have a jazz parade next to/on the roof of the bus before the show. The whole neighborhood comes out to hang. Little kids running around with our cowbells and shakers and snare drums having a blast. Definitely a special moment. The show goes well, Bill gives me a bottle of whiskey as a present and the band destroys it. Folks are, uh, tipsy. "P Lotts" is born. CLEVELAND Roll in to C-land for 4 days to finish a record we started last fall with our friend Jesse Barnes. Knock out 5 more tunes, have a blast. Rashaunta cooks up some ridiculous grub. Hang with master drum maker Dale Fortune. See my good friend and wonderful singer/guitarist Luca Mundaca. Play my favorite show of the whole tour at Brother's Lounge. I lock us out of the bus. Deonte (sound pimp) jimmies the emergency exit and saves my ass. We go out afterward to eat and randomly meet a crazy dude (accompanied by a prostitute?) who says he used to be George Clinton's manager. Turns out he's right. And he also has a band called "10,000 Leagues Under My Nutsack." Seriously. "...all the little chickies with the crimson lips sing 'Cleveland rocks...'" Work with elementary kids at an inner-city school and help them with raps they wrote about their families. Record at the studio with them on Friday. Amazing kids. CHICAGO Show at the Serbian Cultural Center with one of my favorite live bands on earth, Eastern Blok. Fun times hanging with Goran and roommate Marco afterward. Next day, show at the Illinois Institute of Technology. The bus can't make it under any of the overpasses surrounding the school. Get creative with navigation. Finally make it. Watch daaaaa Bulls get eliminated on a big screen in the venue, then immediately play our last show of the tour. Calvin Rodgers (Fred Hammond, Ramsey Lewis) sits in and kills. Our friends from Ann Arbor come out and show the love. Thanks, guys. Back to Nate's family's place. DFW 21 hours in the bus the next day. Pull in to Dallas, Bill and I are locked out. Drive my car up to Denton to get the house key from Donohoe. Car starts smoking. Bad. Coming through the vents into the car. Pull over, radiator gasket is blown and engine has lost compression. $1500 to $3500 worth of repairs needed. No way of ever paying that. Drown our troubles in $2 Fat Tires at the Greenhouse! Life is good.