Well perhaps from your asshole darlin'...

As seen in the Tampa Bay Gazette, May 2008.

So while perusing the array of online cruise sites this morning while hubby was snoring till noon, I had to relish in a disturbed chuckle. We all know about AOL inches, some mystical ruler brought about by someone that obviously had more of a sense of humor than a size queen like me. The quick run down goes something like this 9 Inches and thick = maybe 7 if you are lucky and average more than likely nowhere close. 32 equals somewhere closer to a "young looking 40" and drama free: we won't even get into that one.

So what is it with online profiles? Sure it is one thing for someone to have a make believe profile and do the cyber sex thing. It can even be fun for both involved if they at least have some hot pics to share. But then they meet and expect to get something other than a door in their face? BE HONEST it works better! My point in this article is not so much about AOL inches or someone lying about their age or waistline in their manhunt profile, that is just the frame of reference I want to use for my real topic: If someone is going to use a picture from their high school yearbook, or worse a screen-shot taken from their favorite porn what makes you think that that a person's status disclosure is going to be any more accurate?

Hmmmmm?

The vast majority of guys online ARE honest, they put a picture they think is representative of them (in their minds at least) and they put the result from their last STD test up for the world to see. But not all of them do, and for the ones that do what does it really mean? A Neg test from a year ago, or a month ago does not mean that you are Negative, it means you were at the time the test was administered. For example, I tested HIV Neg in October of 2006--even got a card--at that time I had just had the flu and I was paranoid so I figured what the heck and got tested just in case. In retrospect, the flu was really sero-conversion and I was probably more capable of spreading HIV at that time –while "Neg"-- than at any point since. So what I am telling all you sexy Neg boys is--GET TESTED—FREQUENTLY—AND PLAY WRAPPED! Because no matter how safe you think you are, your partner/s may think about things differently. That Neg person that they played bare with at the party might not have been, no matter how safe/Neg/clean/hot/sweet/healthy/fill in adjective here, they were.

And that takes me to the last rant of the day. Just because a person says they are Neg in their profile does not mean that in fact they are. Sure as a general rule, most Poz guys that have adjusted to their status are likely to put Poz in their status, enter "ask me" or at least leave it blank. But there is more to that status box than meets they eye, and everyone should think twice about it before accepting it at face value, when entering it or when reading it! When I check the Poz box, I have just put out there very publicly that I am HIV+ and told anyone that might happen to see it or know someone that happened to see it, about a pretty darn important aspect of my life. An aspect that can affect friendships, relationships, employment, even families. It doesn't just mean they might not get laid by that cute twink boy.

In turn, rather than putting that kind of potentially damaging information out there for everyone, some HIV + guys check the Neg box. I can hope that they tell a potential partner before it actually becomes an issue, but you and I both know that that doesn't always happen, especially if someone is not at a point in their dealings with their virus that they can be open about it with themselves or others. At the end of the day, Neg for Neg, Neg Ub2, DDF, and whatever initials you might want to add to your profile are cute, but really...they don't mean you aren't going to be playing with someone that is Poz or is Poz and doesn't know it yet. To that "gangbang bottom looking for loads, Neg ub2"... um honey think about that again please. Keep yourselves safe dah'links, the final word rests with you and you only. You can't count on your partner to have your back while he is slapping it. Back in the days of being Neg myself, I was probably never more safe than some of my encounters with Poz guys that were open and concerned about my well being as well, and visa versa never more at risk than when I was too careless with someone I thought was perfectly safe. Just some food for thought...

Comments? Questions? Are you 9 inches and thick? You can reach me at Scarlett.OWhora@yahoo.com or myspace.com/scarlettowhora. Pictures welcomed. See you at St Pete Pride! I hear Muffy has some fab plans for celebration bingo and I have my skates all lubed up and ready, among other things.