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meg



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Engaged
Age: 25
Sign: Capricorn

City: vabch
State: Virginia
Country: US
Signup Date: 9/5/2005

Who Gives Kudos:

♥Lai.. (2)
April 6, 2008 - Sunday 

Current mood:  depressed
The past week and a half have been completely hard to go through. As everyone knows mydad has been a fighter...He has overcome many illnesses and has beat the odds every time. He was placed in the hospital on the 24th of march for a fall...
He had a head injury which resulted in bleeding in the brain. He then was tranferred to Norfolk General Nerological ICU unit. They treated him there and he got worse off. He went through alllottt.......
Then a couple days later, he was placed on a ventalator. Then on April 1st he was able to have the ventalator taken out. He was able to talk to me and tell me he loves me and visaversa. He did not realize the extent of his injury and what type of condition he was in though......
Then with high hopes I left the hospital that night then returned to an unresponsive father the next day. All of wed and thurs he did not make eye contact hardly and could not speak nor could hold my hand.


Then thurs night...well fri morning at 3:30am i recieved a phone call from the vascular ICU stating my dad had stopped breathing and they had to do chest compressions to get him back.....
Friday I came to the hospital now knowing my dad slipped in to choma....
I then felt it all hit instantly....
He has been suffering for the past 25-30 years....
His suffering ended with my by his side......
I held his hand til the very end......

He has been my backbone kinda the past couple years more so than ever....
I was the pple of his eye...and he would do anything he could for me.


I realize that everyone around you..... you take for granted.......
when times get rough you need to embrace reality and know what is the best thing to do and how to cope with problems the best way possible....
but it is hard to do.....
My dad was susposed to take me out to dinner and we were going to celbrate his birthday.....However, he turned 60 in the hospital and not able to celebrate even good health....
He has been through alot and for me to know that i was able say goodbye means the greatest since of relief imaginable............
I held my fathers hand the last hours of his life and did not let go..... the sight of him going in peace rather helped me a bit......
He stayed strong throughout the whole ordeal..........

I loved him very much and now I have to deal with the fact that I dont have any one to run to any more...... i dont have someone to go shooping with...i dont have my dad to joke around with....i dont have my dad to take me out to dinner..
But what I do have is the knowlege of loving and caring for someone.....and staying by them in times of need....and as well as knowing everything he wanted to see in life he has finally seen.........
which is seeing me graduate hs then moving on to college....
having a wonderful child who enjoyed his company.....
able to stand up formyself through the rocky times.... and he was able to see me finally be happy...................
Happiness is hard to find; however, i think i have it in the bag........ even though i mope around alot.......but now knowing my father is in a better place....i might actually have some stress released as well as not always being worried for him...

I stayed beside his bed for over a week straight hoping he would respond and know i was there. He knew I was there and got to tell me he loves me....i will always remember...this......He passed April 4, 2008.



Now all I have to do is complete the final mission of the funeral......which is on tuesday the 8th of april......




i think i am strong and can get through it...but darn it....i really am going to be fragile as hell for a longgg time......
3:52 AM
 
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♥Lainey♥

 
Meg..... After reading this I am at a loss of words with tear filled eyes!!!!! I wish I could be there with you right now through this hard time. I know how hard it is to lose a loved one. You too have always been a fighter! You also have the blessing of being able to turn a sad face into a smile. You have helped me through so much within all the years! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY GURL!!!! Since the day i found out, last night.... i have not been able to sleep very well, as u can see i'm still up. LoL and it's 5:32am.

I am glad you were able to say goodbye, as for many people aren't that fortunate. They always have said that even during a coma, they KNOW you are there. I know he is so proud of you and all that you have accomplished & strive for! You've grown and matured into a wonderful woman! Many people probably did not believe you would continue to pursue college. And YOU proved the WRONG!!!! There is not much more I can say that you haven't already said or know. Never the less, just know that I love you and my deepest sympathy's go to you and your family. I am going to try my best to make it home, as I know you would do the same for me.

Always ~ Ellaine
 
Posted by ♥Lainey♥ on April 6, 2008 - Sunday - 9:42 AM
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