Dear Sean,

What's up? It's us, your neck and your back. How are you? Good? Great. Here's the thing. In the spring of 2005, you somehow graduated from college and yet, here we are two years later and you are still occaisonally sleeping on floors. Cut the shit, guy. You have a fucking degree. Act like it. If we have to spend one more night, laying on a sleeping bag next to someone who is sleeping in a bed, you're paralyzed. Don't push us. And take the sleeping bag out of your car. There's the fucking problem. If you didn't leave it in the backseat, two things would happen. Number one. You wouldn't be tempted to use to sleep on dirty floors. Number two. People wouldn't think you're living out of your car. The only time it's acceptable to sleep in a sleeping bag is when you're camping in the woods and that's only because when you have to shit in the woods, your sleeping conditions aren't necessarilly a priority. Now, start acting like an adult and start sleeping on couches. A couch is just a bed with back support. Think about it, stupid. We're out of here. Hope you like walking with a hump for the next week, dummy.

Sincerly,
Your Neck and Your Back