Thanks to the Comic who came up with the term whose name I will not mention here. It was too catchy a phrase not to write a Blog about it. Plus it must be exposed, maybe talking about it will help alleviate the situation.

So what is a HACKETY HACK? Simply put it is a Comic who is WORSE than a HACK. We all know what a hack is. According to the thesaurus it is a "Person who lacks personal training in their field"

In Comedy, otherwise known as 'A WANNABE'

People who violate every known rule and code of conduct in comedy.

"So I went to STARBUCKS today..."

HACK!

"Where My Guatemalans at?!"

HACK!

(To One Comic) " Marsha, You're Really Great!"

(To Another Comic) "No! Marsha Sucks! DO NOT Book her! ..Well, I'm Available."

HACKETY HACK!

Get it? ...I think you know the deal.

Not only are they 'NOT THAT GOOD' in Comedy nor work at it in any way shape or form other than to move up through relationships, but on a personal level, they are selfish, arrogant, without common Comedic Morals or consideration in how they treat their fellow comics, gossip mongers, folks who stir it up to move up, takers of favors; not givers, preppie jackass self proclaimed HACKETY HACK self-appointed Elitists etc.

When I work with folks I always try to instill a sense of Empowerment for them by helping those who want to produce their own shows to do so and to keep the fruit of their labors, showing them how to network to expand their horizons and most especially teach them to help others on their way up. To give others a break.

To write constantly, perform whenever and however they can. And I am proud of what I have done with the folks I have worked with and proud of them as well and expect to do more on my return.

Helping out your fellow Comic, this has been a constant in the Comedy World.

You pass it on, period.

Today there is a sort of selfishness that is permeating the Comedy scene today that frankly to me is very sickening. I hear it all the time. How one comic goes out the way to help another in such a way that if they did not, that comic would be stuck in the awful 'Once a Month' Open Mic world of Wannabee Comic hell sprinkled with an occasional seven minute booking from a friend in a show that doesn't matter and uses constant gimmicks to keep them trapped in the BRINGER world.

There are well meaning Comics handing off gigs to others they offer up to a booker time after time again and what do they get back?

Nothing, not even a "Thank you"

And of course, you dont' expect anything in return when you help someone but when the Comic who has been helping you on a regular basis asks for information or a recommendation to a particular booker to try to crack that window and maybe get a foot in the door...why NOT help that person in return to help them get into a network they have not been part of? Really, what's the big deal? We're all in this together, right?

I'l tell you why they do this. Because this is what a HACKETY HACK does.

They think that if they let that person in, it will be less work for them. They will go through great lengths to keep that person out of the loop who has been helping them so much.

Why? Because even on their best day they couldn't be a better comic than the person who has helped them so much. So in personal terms they become a threat to a possible gig that they might take away if the booker sees how good a comic the other comic really is and so they withhold info to the very person who has helped them so much in past times.

STOP THE MADNESS FOLKS!

Comedy will only get better if there is an atmosphere of support and information exchange for everyone. Try it, I promise you, it's good for the soul. Good results will happen. Only good can come from good. Only bullcrap comes from bullcrap.

If you have a heaping steaming pile of bullcrap in front of the best scientists on the planet, no matter what they turn it into; potato chips for instance, cookies, gasoline...it will still be made from bullcrap, get it?

I always laugh when a Comic who thinks I'm some bigshot booker comes up to me and asks questions, advice or want a review of their set etc. It's very humbling, but the one thing I will do is give them my honest opinion of their set, what they need to to do to improve and will even book them myself to monitor their progress and send them out into the Comedy World Full steam ahead with all the info they need to know. If someone needs help, you do it, it's that simple. This 'Every Person For Themselves' attitude is destroying comedy in my opinion.

I hide nothing, pull no punches and make myself available to anyone I know who needs anything from me at anytime I am available. In my experience it makes them a better comic. You have to push someone to their limits to get the best out of them, at least thats how I operate. It's been working so far.

The Comics with the biggest support system in Comedy are the ones who make it. You get a real a-hole who makes it through the cracks (No Pun Intended) by stepping on everyone and anything every once in awhile, but that never lasts too long. I mean look at the Bigtime famous HACKS who have been exposed recently whose names I will not mention here.

It's all downhill from here, believe me. The money is great, but they LONG and DESIRE for that recognition and respect as a comic that they will never have, get back or salvage, that is, if they had it in the first place.

But I guess a HACKETY HACK wouldn't care anyway. No biggie, I'm sure they'll have a HACKETY HACK Awards show someday based on sheer box office numbers. It's all about money, not about talent.

Like I really believe music was better in the 60's and 70's when folks were uglier in the business. It's all image and marketability now and that's ashamed. Some of the greatest names would never have made it in this modern day entertainment industry fiasco where the gatekeepers look for so-called Models many whom have no talent whatsoever in any facet of entertainment. Sex sells and that's unfortunate.

In my world there are no cliques, segregation, everyone is welcome and CP is all the better for it. In all of my early blogs on the Julio Ray My Space page, I used to say "FUNNY IS FUNNY!" Through that philosophy I have booked a lot of great Comics in this business, had a good time to boot and made some great friends as well. And that isn't too bad, not bad at all.

Great things can be accomplished when folks work together. Underhandedness doesn't get anyone anywhere, it makes things worse.

So if youre a HACKETY HACK, you can still salvage what's left of your soulless uncaring self. Here's what you do:

1. Call everyone you've ever screwed in this business and make peace. Start with a new slate. It's better to be loved than hated.

2. Stop stealing and/or plagiarizing jokes. WE KNOW! I cannot believe the Comics who actually use "FAMILIAR" Material and claim it as their own. The rule is this: If you do material and someone tells you it's been done by so and so verbatim, that makes you an accidental hack. But if someone tells you you're using someone elses material they have done and you keep claiming that you wrote it and continue to use it, then at this point you have become a HACKETY HACK.

3. If someone goes out the way to help you get gigs, return the favor someday, don't be a HACKETY HACK and not mention that persons name when a booker asks you if you know anyone who can step in.

4. Be SUPPORTIVE, that's important. I've seen some experienced comics and bookers criticize new folks in a way that was really unnecessary and in some cases untrue almost to the point where someone wants to quit. I have witnessed folks taking pleasure at this, it's really sickening. But if you prop them up and give them a break and build up their confidence, that's a good thing. You don't know if that person will be the one to bring YOU up in the future.

This business is full of "BITTER PILLS" (Got that from the same person who gave me "HACKETY HACKS") who get angry everytime a NEW person surpasses them in the business on the FAME side of things. But I say, don't get mad, GET INSPIRED because that person is doing something right! ...Hmmmm, maybe they just simply treated folks good! That goes a long way in this biz believe me. And even if they managed to fake their way to the top, BE HAPPY FOR THEM! After all, you would have done the same thing! It's the HACKETY HACK Era in Comedy. Some are gonna make it through, leave it alone! Stop taking that bitter pill and work a little harder!

5. In general, just stop being an all around A-Hole! That's for comics, bookers, club gatekeepers and everyone else in this business. Play fair. Develop the GREAT comics and stop lowering the standards of what a GREAT Comic is. If they need to get better, don't put them in a position where a GREAT Comic should be just because they can drag 30 family members in the door. Bad shows kill the comedy business in the long run. Who wants to return to a club after seeing the worse bringer show they ever saw? Club owners need to keep a close eye on who their Producers are and the comment cards on the table and most importantly the customers personal input to the staff.

6. This ones really important. If no-one asks you for your opinion, DO NOT GIVE IT! Silence is Golden. Whatever you say to someone will spread like fire, believe me, and you don't want that. This "He Sucks, She Sucks" insanity has to stop. Remember, YOU SUCKED TOO when you started out. I see it all the time. While others are JUDGING, the one who sucks today is the Next Big Thing tomorrow because they worked hard at it against all odds, refined the act, got REALLY better, didn't get involved in the Politics of comedy.

..Just shut your trap! HACKETY HACKS...DON'T TALK BACK!

7. Up the Camaraderie. That's what's really missing a lot today. There used to be this feeling between comedians even if you didn't personally know them to befriend them, even if only for the length of the gig. I noticed that mostly Old Schoolers still do this. Today you see a group of newer comics just so segregated at the gigs, not even socializing together; one sitting here, one sitting there, after the set they just leave, don't even say goodbye to the others or even thank the booker, club owner or staff.

Introduce yourself, say Hello, who knows? You may meet someone who can help out your career, maybe make a lifelong friend. Camaraderie is a good thing, it boosts morale. Your goal should be to learn something from somebody whose head you can pick on any question you got regarding comedy.

Start writing groups together. After the show go to the local coffee house, brainstorm material, it works folks. Be the best you can be. Striving to be the best never ends, especially in comedy. Carry that pad and pen around. WRITE! Socialize! Make friends not enemies! STOP THE HACKETY HACKING!

In closing, let me just say that HACKETY HACKS refer to just a handful of folks who are indeed just that, HACKETY HACKS. Some who know it, some who just don't care, some who must be told.

This is the purpose of this blog. To improve what's out there and get the conversation started. To admit that you have a problem is to open the door for help.

FEEL FREE TO POST A COMMENT ON YOUR HACKETY HACK STORIES HERE. DO NOT NAME NAMES! I WILL NOT POST THAT. BUT IF THE HACKETY HACK READS IT, IT WILL GO A LONG WAY IN HELPING THEM TO REALIZE THEIR HACKETY HACK WAYS AND MAYBE BRING THEM INTO THE CONFEDERATION OF COMEDIANS.

Please HACKETY HACKS...Listen to Michael Jacksons "MAN IN THE MIRROR" from the BAD album.

"...MAKE THAT CHANGE!"

"TOGETHER WE STAND -UP, DIVIDED WE FALL!" -COMEDY PIE™

Peace-N-Blessings, Life Is Good! -J