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Stephanie



Last Updated: 12/28/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 39
City: Nashville
State: Tennessee
Country: US
July 19, 2009 - Sunday 

Category: Life
This blog was originally posted in July 2007.

He was lost. Beyond lost. He didn't even know where to begin to try to find his way out of this mess. But up ahead, he saw hope:

On the front porch of this old gas station sat four old men. The traveler pulled in and got out of his car. These men would help him find his way.

"You lost?" one of the men asked as he approached.

"I'm trying to get to the highway."

"Oh. You're way off track."

One of the men began giving directions and our young traveler tried to listen. But a sound distracted him. A barely perceptible high-pitched noise. He looked around and saw a sad dog lying next to one of the men.



"Here buddy," the traveler said and the dog rose and laboriously made his way over to him. As he petted the animal, he noticed the dog no longer whimpered. Eventually the dog grew bored with the stranger's gentle touch and returned to his original spot. After walking in circles for a half a minute or so, he plopped down in the exact same place he'd occupied before. And promptly resumed whimpering.

Finally, the traveler had to know. "What's the matter with your dog?" he asked the man who was sitting in the rocker closest to the dog.

The man looked down as if just noticing the dog for the first time. "Oh, that's Buster. He's lying on an old rusty nail."

The man was confused. If the dog was in pain, why did he continue to stay on the nail? And why had he gotten up, only to return to the same spot which was hurting him?

"Why doesn't he move?" the traveler finally asked the old guy.

The old guy shrugged. "Guess it doesn't hurt bad enough yet."

Someone told me this old story last year, when I was going through a difficult time. I heard her message loud and clear but I still chose to stay in my situation. I stayed until I could take no more. But it was long past the point when the whimpering had begun. Long past knowing that even though I hated to lose someone that meant that much to me, it was better to cut ties than to keep hurting. But I chose to keep hurting...

Just how badly does it have to hurt before you finally get off that old rusty nail?
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Stephanie

 
Firsting with Oingo Boingo:

..
 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 11:33 AM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
That's Bridget Fonda's husband singing by the way.

I'm apparently a fountain of knowledge on the important subjects...

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 20, 2009 - Monday - 1:17 AM
[Reply to this
Lisa

 
You always seem to post things when I need to hear them. Thanks, this story has a great lesson!

 
Posted by Lisa on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 11:37 AM
[Reply to this
BlackJack
Lee Griffin

 
I agree - it's like we read eachother's minds! :)

 
Posted by BlackJack on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 4:35 PM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
Thank you! I've found that things like this can speak to just about everyone on some level. There's something we're all finding difficult -- whether it's work or personal relationships -- and we have to make the decision about what to do about it.

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 6:09 PM
[Reply to this
Kim

 
Wow....

 
Posted by Kim on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 11:46 AM
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Lindy

 
Sadly the pain goes on for many years after the source has been removed.  That rusty nail is pretty tame compared to the pain of unrequited love. Or impossible love.
 
Posted by Lindy on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 11:52 AM
[Reply to this
~Angela~
Angela Ranger

 
I call this soul tied
 
Posted by ~Angela~ on July 22, 2009 - Wednesday - 7:37 PM
[Reply to this
BlackJack
Lee Griffin

 
I totally agree. You can't control everything in the world, and that kills me. It breaks my heart.

 
Posted by BlackJack on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 4:36 PM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
I think the wounds of our past do tend to follow us throughout life...but we can choose to let them make us stronger if we wish.

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 6:10 PM
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►Corpus◄ Christie [sumbitch]
Christie Love

 
It usually has to fester for a while, sadly :(  We're a masochistic species, aren't we?

 
Posted by ►Corpus◄ Christie [sumbitch] on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 12:02 PM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
I think people just have a hard time adjusting to change. So they'll linger in the status quo. Plus, often the enemy you know is better than the enemy you don't. Or whatever that old saying is. I once dated someone who said it CONSTANTLY because he was miserable in his job but wouldn't quit. It drove me crazy, he said it so much...and now I can't remember what it was!

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 6:12 PM
[Reply to this
Lizzie

 
hopefully with age comes wisdom and experience and the reality sets in that no rusty nail is worth the pain
thanks for such a thoughtful blog
here's to us all living as pain free of an existence as we can
lizzie

 
Posted by Lizzie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 12:22 PM
[Reply to this
Ron

 
I think we have all been there before.  That old rusty nail hurts but oh the comfort of being in the same spot, now thats hard to give up.

 
Posted by Ron on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 12:45 PM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
Good way of putting it!

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 6:12 PM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
Being alone and by yourself is far better than feeling alone and miserable in a relationship...which CAN happen. Better to hold out for the one who sets your soul on fire...even if it takes a while to find that person.

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 6:18 PM
[Reply to this
† Dominique †

 
I needed to be reminded of this Stephanie...  thank you.

 
Posted by † Dominique † on July 21, 2009 - Tuesday - 10:33 AM
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!!!wendy!!!

 
ahhhh, crap now you have gone and made me cry. I guess some people have a high tolerance for pain.

 
Posted by !!!wendy!!! on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 12:54 PM
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Stephanie

 
Some people seem to seek it out.

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 6:18 PM
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♥ shady bitch ♥
Riva russell

 
Im not sure how long it takes, it took my sister to almost the end of her life, now though she got off that nail and seems she has a long healthy life ahead of her and is expecting her third child!   Just because we can see that someone is sitting on a rusty nail and how much better it would be for them to move, sometimes I guess they just make themselves belive one day the nail wont hurt anymore.....
 
Posted by ♥ shady bitch ♥ on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 12:55 PM
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Stephanie

 
I've learned people have to figure that out for themselves. It's just tough to watch sometimes.

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 6:47 PM
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Shing-Shang-Shawn®

 
Well, once AGAIN you hit VERY close to home with this!!!  I don't comment very often but I read religiously!!!  haha  There's a whole "comfortablity" thing that we're not adding in to this analogy!!!  The dog WOULD have moved when it become so uncomfortable that he HAD to, but until then he's gonna make his nest right there on that nail!!!  Alot of people stay with people and jobs, etc... for the sheer "comfort factor" that it brings!!!  Hell, I've been miserable in my job for two years but somehow I get up EVERY day and go there because it's not a hard one, I am making "alright" money and I know what I'm doing!!!  It started out temporary and now I'm DISTRICT MANAGER!!!  hahaha  That was a kick in the teeth when I read it out loud!!!  The point IS alot of factors come in on this!!!   I know you said that you left when you said you couldn't TAKE it anymore, but for some it's not so easy!!!  I mean, there are still married people that are miserable with each OTHER, yet they choose to stay in that single bed in a completly different bedroom for the simple fact that it's what they KNOW and that's what's comfortable to THEM!!!  Maybe I'm just ramblin'....hahahahaha  Love your blogs DAILY, Stephanie and Im 26 and have been reading since I was 22 or 23 (somewhere around in there)!!!  I don't know what I would do if you just up and STOPPED!!!  I don't even drink coffee...My g/f KNOWS that I am not to be disturbed when I'm in my morning "blog mode"!!!  haha  Later guys!!!

Shawn

 
Posted by Shing-Shang-Shawn® on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 1:21 PM
[Reply to this
Annette
Annette Brown

 
Great comment Shing
 
Posted by Annette on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 3:53 PM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
Wow, Shawn. Thank you so much for the kind words...and VERY good comment. I remember in my 20s being miserable in my job and realizing this was NOT what I'd envisioned for myself. Then I got to the point where personal became more important than work...and I found writing, which provided that creative outlet I'd always wanted. Maybe it's all about figuring out something we can do that makes us happy...even IF it is what we're doing when we're not at our day jobs?

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 7:11 PM
[Reply to this
LYD

 
Indeed.  Very sad...great messge though ;)
 
Posted by LYD on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 1:27 PM
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~Bobbie~ The Musical

 
nail Pictures, Images and PhotosAnd then sometimes we love our pain

 
Posted by ~Bobbie~ The Musical on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 1:55 PM
[Reply to this
Sybil

 
my rusty nail became embedded and festered. It was a hard lesson to learn

 
Posted by Sybil on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 1:59 PM
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hayley
Hayley Apostolou

 
wow...just, wow

it's a sad message, but one that can be related to by so many

great blog hun x

 
Posted by hayley on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 1:59 PM
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*Heather Jo*

 
If ever there was a blog I needed to read...this was it. PERFECT timing.

 
Posted by *Heather Jo* on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 2:02 PM
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♥Shelly♥

 
I love this blog!!!

 
Posted by ♥Shelly♥ on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 2:03 PM
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Carol Lee
Carol Lee Geer

 
Great blog as usual ! My rusty nail can..t be removed so easy .It is linked too a sweet grandchild who is going on 3 in September . I wish i could move over and ease the pain but i can..t let go . He needs me and i need him even more .




 
Posted by Carol Lee on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 2:11 PM
[Reply to this
Annette
Annette Brown

 
Wow Carol, I can see where the rusty nail could be worth the pain for those precious blue eyes and adorable little boy.  I don't know the history of your rusty nail, but your tolerating it is probably well worth it for two precious souls; yours and his. 
 
Posted by Annette on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 3:56 PM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
Sometimes in life, God leads you to someone not for what they can do for you...but what you can do for them. And in that you find a way to get happiness out of knowing how much you are impacting that person's life.

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 7:12 PM
[Reply to this
POWER WOMAN INTO THE POWER YEAR!!!!

 
Meaningful story...
 
Posted by POWER WOMAN INTO THE POWER YEAR!!!! on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 2:13 PM
[Reply to this
☼SunshineDaisy☼

 
Are you talking to me??
 
Posted by ☼SunshineDaisy☼ on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 2:17 PM
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Laura A. Lasley
Laura Lasley

 
I swear your a genius. Either that or Psychic. Thanks again

 
Posted by Laura A. Lasley on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 2:21 PM
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Stephanie

 
Maybe we've all been together so long we're just starting to think alike!

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 7:13 PM
[Reply to this
Wazzy60

 
Comfortable being uncomfortable. The FEAR; fear of loss, loss of the good spot the dog can call it's own;  fear of the unknown... another spot may seem so unfamiliar with different surroundings and have to see things from an unfamiliar angle...easier just to stay where it's at, that spot belongs to it now.  It can be around the other travellers and not feel lonely, rejected or abandoned to go somewhere else so not in the spotlight of attention. Maybe that rusty nail helped scratch an itch the dog needed scratching making it feel good, but most of the time the nail is just an irritant and constantly poking it from sunup to sundown makin it feel the pain. For some crazy reason the dog chose that spot, and now it lives with what it chose...crazy. Get up and move dumb dog, face it, that choice was a bad one. Why can't the dog's friends help it and pound the nail down? Pretty soon its eyes and face are going to show the misery it goes through every day, and its life story will be written on its face; it lived on a rusty frickin nail its whole life!

 
Posted by Wazzy60 on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 2:36 PM
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Stephanie

 
From The Truman Show: "We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented."

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 8:32 PM
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Tom

 

 
Posted by Tom on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 2:36 PM
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Jeanine

 
I guess it all depends on wheteher you feel you are ready to move on.  When I wanted to divorce my Ex Husband, we were married at that time, for 3 1/2 years.  So many people asked me, "Why now? It's only been 3 1/2 years!", to which I replied, "Exactly...it's been 3 1/2 years...".  My point being, it may not be a long time to be married, but I was definitely ready to say it was quittin' time!

Hope you are well, I wish you courage and all the best of luck always!
 
Posted by Jeanine on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 2:59 PM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
If you know at 3-1/2 years it's not going to work out, why linger? I agree with you on that.

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 8:36 PM
[Reply to this
† Dominique †

 
... but Stephanie, what is it isn't your first marriage?  If it's your second or third?  There's more pressure with each one, to make it work come hell or high water, because who wants a trail of failed marriages behind them?



 
Posted by † Dominique † on July 21, 2009 - Tuesday - 10:38 AM
[Reply to this
ǝllǝɥɔɐɹ

 
I've heard this story once before more recently. Kinda wish someone had told it to me about 2 years ago when I was whimpering. lol It's definately a good story. :)
 
Posted by ǝllǝɥɔɐɹ on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 3:11 PM
[Reply to this
Barbara
Barbara Kausteklis

 
Thanks for sharing this.

 
Posted by Barbara on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 3:16 PM
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Not Usual Teacher

 


What a great blog!  I think a lot of us feel more comfortable hurting because we don't feel we deserve it.  Great message for anyone to hear!





 
Posted by Not Usual Teacher on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 3:22 PM
[Reply to this
Stephanie

 
We allow people to treat us the way we feel we deserve to be treated. That's why they say it's important to love yourself before getting into a relationship but it can apply to all of your relationships in life.

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 8:37 PM
[Reply to this
Annette
Annette Brown

 
This is awesome and so true.  And sometimes, we allow the remnants from that old rusty nail to fester and grow, instead of treating it and letting it slowly heal.  Great blog.
 
Posted by Annette on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 3:51 PM
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Stephanie

 
Resentment only hurts us...never the other person. The best revenge is living well.

 
Posted by Stephanie on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 8:37 PM
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Penny Lane

 
I suppose some of us choose to sit and whimper. Good story, well put~

 
Posted by Penny Lane on July 19, 2009 - Sunday - 3:54 PM
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