Hello, friends. POLKAFINGER here. Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, dear friends? Of course you do! So why miss an opportunity to stare doom in the face?

Please join yours truly,
POLKAFINGER , on
FRIDAY, MARCH 13TH, 10PM, at
VAN GOGH'S RADIO,
147 Franklin St. (@ Java)
(G Train to Greenpoint Ave-1 block west to Franklin.)

The evening promises to be daringly scare-a-licious. If you live through it, you won't be able to stop talking about it.

Interesting fact: In the 1920's, the VGR building was a home for possessed nuns. It's built on a plot of land the early Dutch settlers named "Ghoosteun Fenkreulen", or "Haunted Swamp." Some say the mournful voice of a chupacabra trapped in quicksand is clearly audible through the toilet bowl.

But that's the least of your worries.

Your bartender that night will be the woman honored by Google as the Universe's WORST BARTENDER EVER:
SUZANNE of ELM STREET.

Imagine the rush! It'll be impossible to know if the drink you are ordering will be the last thing you'll ever do!
Hint: probably!

And fellows, if proximity to Suzanne arouses your amatory senses (a foregone conclusion), here's a tip:
tell her "You know, you'd be a lot cuter if you smiled more."

You won't believe what happens next!

So friends, are you tough enough? We believe you are.

So please join POLKAFINGER on
FRIDAY, MARCH 13th at
VAN GOGH'S RADIO.

Together, we can get through this.

Yours truly,
POLKAFINGER