When I was a kid, my grandparents would buy a side of beef for the freezer every winter. If you didn't grow up in the country, you may not know that  means a half a cow.

T-bone steaks were piled up high as were delicious New York strips, roasts, filets and on and on. When I was in jr high I couldn't sleep most nights because my grandfather was dying. I would prowl around the house and end up in the basement pulling out another steak from the enormous freezer. I would fry it up in butter (still frozen) adding a bit of water to the pan so the steam would defrost it as it cooked. I would add some A-1 sauce to the side of the plate and eat every bite....delicious.

As an adult I always loved meat and became a goumet cook in the last several years. I learned how to make a perfect Bolognase sauce with prosiutto and beef ,as well as a mean brisket that would give any Jewish grandmother a run for her money.

But, something started feeling wrong to me a couple of years ago. It was when we adopted Rex (photo at left). We got Rex when he was a puppy. The first time I saw him it was love at first sight. He was so little and vulnerable and I really bonded to him in a way that I hadn't bonded to an animal before. And as I learned from the experience of bonding with my daughter; when we really let ourselves feel our deepest connection with another, a whole world of compassion and empathy opens up.

I had continued to eat meat all these years although I made the shifts to "all natural", "grass fed" and "free range" some years ago.

But somehow, in loving my dog so deeply, I began to realize that I could only continue to eat farm animals because I objectified them. I saw them as "other". I did not look into their eyes and see how full of life and soul they are. I did not conciously remind myself that most pigs are smarter than dogs. Some people in parts of Asia think it's o.k. to eat dogs too.

I went on a website on internal cleansing and read something profound. It said "if you really want to reach a space of unconditional love inside your heart, you cannot continue to eat meat. It went on to speak about the energy of fear in the animal's body.When we eat meat, even if it's "organic", that energy of fear is of course in the meat.

And I stopped eating meat that day. No pig, cow or chicken is going into my body. I cannot work to aleviate the suffering in humans and contine to aviod the suffering of animals.

And, I am choosing not to seperate categories of animals, some as lovable and deserving, and others deserving of cages,lonliness and cruelty in their time on earth.

I do admit that some days I crave burgers or bacon. I still allow myself to eat wild salmon once a week for the time being. I will phase it out as I am able to handle it.

My heart and mind feel at peace with the decision. And, I feel that I can surrender more deeply into that energy of unconditional love without the suffering of another creature coursing through my veins on a daily basis.

With gratitude to my two bulldogs,Rex and Libby who teach me more about unconditional love each day~ They embody it!

Peace,

Tanya