I'm the sort of person... I have what I have in front of me, and I react to it the best way I know how. I'm trying to live life as best I can. I have few true, major problems in front of me. Still, I'm not just reacting to the physical? I also react to the questions that occur to me by thinking about them nonstop and this question I've had has been running through my mind ever since it occured to me, and I can't get rid of it.

Do we have choice?

There's a song called "Human" by The Killers that I've always loved, ever since I heard it, and I only just reaized it was asking the same question. My fursona's name, Buseje, means "Ask me a question", fuck my name "Michael" is a question, "Who is Like God?" I think that I'm going to take a long time to find an answer to this question that suits me, but I think I want to know the answer in a very concrete way that will never happen.

In the past, I've written about how other people have destinies because they are uncontrollable variables and that I have choice because iny life, I am the control factor. In another person's life, they are the control factor, I suppose, and to them I have a destiny in that way of thinking?

It's just that up and until now, everything I have in front of me has very little to do with what I've really... wanted? not that I'm unhappy, because I'm not, I have tons of things I absolutely love about my situation, but there are still thinigs I would have picked to have happen differently.Specifics aren't important here.

When I go to sleep at night, for instance, I may or may not actually be able to get to sleep instantly. Whether or not I am still tired the next morning is a matter of destiny, then?

Then, I'm gay. The "then" I just used isn't to reference chronology, just to change the subject. As a gay guy, there are huge sects of many major religions that simply will not allow me to paricipate in discussion. I'm not sure if I should interpret this as their choosing to ignore me, or destiny's way of forcing me to look for answers elsewhere. The two may not even be related, but even before I knew I was gay I was asking this question. I was raised without religion, so I'm inclined to believe the destiny theory on this topic.

I don't feel powerless. I know I have to choose whether or not to believe in destiny, it's not some bit of statistical analysis or case study I can look at for most of the questions I ask: its whichever answer helps me function best, whichever one is going to lead me to my potential. If I'm really all alone in my decisions and without a guiding force, won't I inevitably fail? If it's all destiny, what's the point in thought? I lose either way, even if I do get whatever I don't lose: destiny=success (on a grand scale, not necessarily personal success). and choice=worth of thought.

My name is Michael, and it means "Who is like God?"... god defies destiny, he even gets to make destiny up... and millions of people couldn't answer my name question. It's for me to answer and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I want other people's thoughts about this, because its a very heavy topic.