The question is....how is it that I can fix peoples problems all day long, and help them find their happiness, but yet mine is so far away? I call my self headstrong and driven. I know excatly what I want, and I know how to get it. I know why I am angry and unhappy at times. I know what will make me happy. I know what I want out of life, and I know how to get there. So why do I do the exact opposite? Why am I obligated to take on the weight of the world for other people so they do not have to carry it. Why do I feel guilty for doing something for myself?

I always wonder if my fasination with people and human behavior is a good or bad thing? Is it honnorable to make self sacrifices to make someone elses life eaiser? Would it be selfish to tell people to figure it out themselves, because I have something else to do! But I can't! I want too at times thou, sometimes I was to scream "WHAT ABOUT ME?!?!" But it would be pointless, because I would only go back to what I do best......putting other people first. I just wander if one day it will pay off, and hope that one day my life might actually make sense!!!