my caps lock key is working backwards. it's really weird so i am just going to pretend that capital letters do not exist for the time being. i am actually really freaked out. freaked out like the way i just was five minutes ago when my father said 'faggy'. i almost pee'd myself. but anyway

i want something to believe in real bad. i mean, i have this one thing, that i dont really get into beacause it could taint me in a lot of peoples eyes. only one person knows about it completely and she probably doesn't really realize she does. but anyway, some people have god. and by some people i mean a lot of people. god is the reason so many people don't do certain things like drugs and all that other shit. i mean, i don't need any help there but idk. i dont even know what i'm getting at. it's almost like i'm jealous? it's so fucked up. i don't know. but geez, this is lame, but i have to say it because if i dont i'll end up saying it to someone else and they'll make fun of me. you know how you can have interests on this stupid website? i think it's great, for some reason, when under the interests of some kid that seems really cool, you see 'god. music. blahblahblahblah' and i dont know. i dont know why that's cool, maybe because they're not really ebarassed to admit that they believe in god and all that stuff. no, really. it is. because how many kids are embarrased of their religion and all this other shit? i dont get why i'm saying this. i am going to go listen to some underoath lmao :( my boys.

ps. i am organizing an ebay account. yeah, im pretty excited. it's gonna be neat. jeanlikesmoney. jeanwantshershoes. jean is going to get some fuckin ice creams designed by pharrell. god i am so excited. pharrell<3