TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE IDES CHRISTMAS-by Scott May

Twas the night before Ides Christmas, and all through the land
Not a peep pierced the air, from the boys in the band
The guitars were snug in their cases of black
the drums were unbeaten, The horns were all packed

At home with the family, the order of day
There wasn't a concert or fest left to play
But leave it to fate, to spring surprise big
The Ides were just booked for a holiday gig

Their agent was shocked by the quick late night call
We need a great band for the Elves' north pole ball
The agent suggested the Shames or the Bucks
But the old man who phoned, laughed a jolly "Aw Shucks"

We want a band with Golden Brass
With a Bass player and Drummer who really kick...as hard as they possibly can
With guitars and organs and Leslies that spin
Who rock just as hard as a punch on the chin

With a singer who stirs up songs spun through with gold
And seven more voices that never grow old
Do you sir, know any that match this request?
The agent said "Surely I'll send you my best"

But there are no flights up to the North pole
However will we meet to fulfill your goal
Leave the transport to me said the old man with a laugh
I'll pick them all up in an wink and a half

Now we've heard the stories, told since long ago
That once we're adults, we have to let go
Of tales of sleighs and red-nosed reindeer
And a great bellied man with a flowing white beard

So imagine the shock and the joy, almost fright
When each Ide was call on by Santa Claus that night
Bring all your brides, take your children in tow
He said with a thundering HO-ho-ho-ho

You won't need your guitars, we've got plenty of gear
Don't worry about Toby, he's already there
And quick as a flash, they took to the sky
What do you know? Reindeer really CAN fly!

Landing, they saw the stage made of blue ice
And the opening act-Great God In Heaven...Bo Bice!
There were even familiar folks at the job
Hey look, there's the Danzman, and Bensenville Bob!

And in a red spotlight like vintage Chianti
Out stepped the the legend-The Great Dick Biondi
And said in the voice that's warmed millions of hearts
Would you please welcome "Chicago's Own Ides of March"!

The elves went crazy when Jim started to sing
The icebergs vibrated when Bob did his thing
John let loose with a dozen high "C"'s
Mikes double bass drum dropped the crowd to their knees

Santa and wife danced to Chuck's conga lines
Dave's trombone was there proclaimed one-of-a-kind
Larry the leader set tempo and pace
And I did my best to boogie the place.

It was a night to remember, oh girls and boys
and on Christmas morning, The kids got their toys
But the present for us, Santa made the right call
for 43 years, it's fans like you all

©2007