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Current mood:  peaceful Category: Life
DEAR FRIENDS -- A student in my class on awakening self-love recently asked me to clarify the distinction between sadness and depression. Since we are living in an era where sadness and depression are misdiagnosed as "imbalances in brain chemistry" I feel it is important to tell people that their feelings are real and a part of their true selves. Learning to open your heart to your sadness -- in order to understand it and ultimately let it go -- is a healing act of self-love. I hope my words to my student will help you on your own journey to your core of joy and peace.
"Dear _____
Even though the crying and increased sadness you've been experiencing is painful, in the larger picture it's a positive development because it indicates you are breaking through the denial and connecting with your genuine feeling. Remember how we identified your "joking" attitude as your way of "rising above" and pushing away your sadness? Your work in the class and in your therapy is helping you stay more real and authentic, which will lead you to a much more open and happy place. Real, lasting inner peace and joyfulness can only grow when we've faced and release the pain we carry.
I see sadness per se as a natural and temporary reaction to experiences of loss, frustration etc. If a person is completely in touch with their sadness (no denial) and letting all of it out, there is no depression. The person feels relieved and open after crying, "cleansed" emotionally and restored to feeling peaceful.
Depression, on the other hand, is when a person is sad (or angry or afraid) but isn't fully connected to the sadness. They are fighting the sad feelings, trying to escape them, which prevents their complete release through crying. Therefore an excess of sadness builds up in the body, cutting down on energy levels and not allowing the person release and inner peace. So you can see that a person can be very sad, but not depressed -- if they are completely open to the sadness and are fully letting it out. Whereas depression could occur with actually a smaller degree of sadness but with a lot of suppression and denial about it.
The key for you, I believe, is to TRUST your feelings of sadness as real and authentic reactions to unsatisfying life situations. Some of these situations have to do with the present day -- for example the situation with your boyfriend -- and some have to do with sorrow from your past which was never fully released and is still in your body. LOVING YOURSELF is all about believing that your sadness is a real part of you, and a signal to search for the reasons you are sad (past and present) so that they can be healed. Releasing your sadness and making positive changes that create happiness is what the spiritual path -- and life -- is all about.
LOTS OF LOVE-- BRYAN"
1:22 PM
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