My Name Is Bruce: bruce campbell plays a drunken, divorced, cartoonish version of himself kidnapped by his biggest fan to defeat the chinese demon / god of bean curd quan-di. hilarious on several levels. he uses a cutout of himself to help defeat the demon. long live bruce campbell.
(8/10)
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer: Not really a horror flick though it is dark, graphic and disturbing. michael rooker (as henry) and tom towels (as otis) are pretty damn fantastic. loosely based on the life of henry lee lucas, a gentleman who confessed to over 600 murders, though authorities think the actual number was closer to 15.
(10/10)Basket Case: A brother and his deformed, ex-conjoined twin (who prefers to live his life in a pic-a-nic basket) travel around NYC hunting down the doctors who forcefully separated them years earlier. great idea plagued by brutal acting, awful special FX (even i would have taken the time to get rid of the seems on the puppet) and knee slappingly bad stop motion animation. cult classic, my ass.
(3/10)Basket Case 2:belial and his brother escape from the hospital and are rescued by a friend of duane's late aunt, who just happens to own a large estate inhabited by freaks. bigger budget. better fx (though still not great). at least there's no dick flapping in this one.
(5/10)
Return of the Living Dead Part II: nowhere near as great as the original, though it does have it's moments. frequently too slap sticky and comedic for it's own good. some good gore tossed in to a story almost identical to the one found in the original. i could see pulling this out from time to time. a good way to brainlessly waste a friday night.
(7.5/10)Scalps: This movie quite easily had the budget of the sweet ass kung fu short i shot in high school for my video and photo class. college kids are sent out to the middle of the desert (which doubles as a haunted, indian burial ground) to search for artifacts. a native spirit picks the terrible actors off one by one. at least the scalping scene was cool.
(3/10)Pieces: 80's spanish slasher flick that takes place in boston. a young child's busted putting a naked lady puzzle together in his room by him mommy, who he then kills with an axe. billed as 'shocking', 'graphic' and 'banned', this one was doomed from the raves on the box to NOT live up to the hype. the shocking ending? eh. i enjoyed it, but i'm also a sucker for 80's slasher flicks with senseless nudity and violence.
(7.5 / 10)The Cottage: british black comedy / kidnapping flick turns brutal mutant slasher flick. easily the best $.98 cents i have ever spent (thanks, amazon!). two bumbling brothers kidnap a busty blond who happens to be the daughter of a mob boss. she's brought to a cottage in the middle of nowhere where things go from bad to worse for the kidnappers as she manages to make their lives a living hell. she eventually escapes, taking the more buffoonish of the brothers with her where they stumble across a run down farmhouse owned by a deranged, mutant, cannibal maniac. even my wife thought this was good, and she hates horror movies.
(9.5/10)(p.s. - the cottage review = more than five sentences. sue me.)
Ghoulies: awful, dreadful piece of shit, and with the amount of crappy movies i see, that's really saying something. so bad i had to actually watch it in shifts. the ghoulies are really just an afterthought to a sad movie about black magic.
(1/10)Ghoulies II: i am, apparently, a glutun for punishment. the reality is, the original ghoulies makes this look like citizen kane.
(3/10)From Beyond: biased review. i'm a sucker for stuart gordon and jeffery combs. doesn't hurt that ken foree's in this as well. nudity, gore, lovecraft: how can you go wrong.
(8/10)Texas Chainsaw Massacre - the Next Generation: i've successfully avoided this movie for over 10 years, but faced with the option of watching either this or the gingerdead man sequel, i picked this one. spent the first hour wondering why everyone hated this movie so much. spent the last half hour screaming at my t.v. fuck this movie.
(2/10)it appears myspace is the new livejournal. everyone's jumping to facebook, including me. this is about all anyone will get out of me here anymore. yawn yawn yawn.