My NEW Job

So, this year, I attempted to fully recover my real estate career.

I am a talented Broker, to be sure. I have made hordes of money in real estate. Finally, this year was my time to break back into it. Except, I couldn’t. The real estate market is still “there”, but the reality is, if you don’t close property consistently, you have to go punch a clock somewhere. Especially if the holidays are approaching.

So, I needed a job for the winter.

Why not go to the mall?

I have never worked in a mall before, but with Christmas approaching, they are surely hiring, right? So, I went to the most high-end, affluent mall in the Denver area. I applied at a few smaller stores I was interested in, and a bookstore... and then a department store.

A quick rant-

What is it with job-hunting these days?

When I was younger, you filled out an application, asked to see a manager, and you shook their hand and looked them in the eye, and you got a shot at getting hired right there. But no longer. Ohhhhhh no. Now, you damn whippersnappers have us all applying for the jobs ONLINE. That seems like it should be more convenient, but when I don’t get to look the boss in the eye, I am just one more screen of data to them. I can’t set myself apart!

And then, they have personality tests now!! They don’t just want to know about your last few jobs- they ask questions now like “If you saw a co-worker stealing merchandise, would you

a) help them?

b) look the other way?

c) admire their technique?

d) tackle them down until the security guy gives them a swirly?

It’s madness.

Fortunately, on my journey, while I was filling out their silly questionnaire, the Boss Lady walks by, and stops in. Yay! Not only do I get to talk to the BOSS, but she’s a girl. It’s my lucky day.  So I did what I do, and *poof*! I got the job. They had not hired anyone in a year... and they hired only 8 of us. My fellow new-hires had either been recruited or had harassed them for months, for the job. Me? I just walked in and got it. My timing was perfect.

So now I work at a major department store, and its really quite nice. I am remembering why I rarely shop there, though. A necktie for $135??? Yeah, I don’t think so. But I have always bought my dress shoes there. You guys know I never skimp on my shoes.

They gave us some crap work to do, the first week. Straightening out departments for inspection, tedious stuff. Training. Then, they hand-picked four of us, to send us to the most coveted job in the store. The sort of job other employees have to wait a year to even get a shot at. The biggest money position of the store. They handed it to me.

Selling women’s shoes.

Why is it such a good job? My new co-workers are making $15 to $28 a hour back there! And this particular retailer is nationally known for having a kick ass ladies’ shoes department.

So, I said, let me get this straight- I can make in excess of $20 an hour flirting with rich girls and talking shoes with them?

ok, I guess I could do that.

My first mission was to learn the stockroom, which is no small feat. There are 140,000 pairs of shoes back there!!! And they just got in a huge mountain of new stock. So, I get to spend a week in back learning how to find the shoes. You ladies wear some crazy shoes, by the way. Weird, crazy, and even seriously ugly shoes. But hey- if you want to buy them, I am ok with it. It used to be that my wife would come into these places and burn up my money on this crap. But now, karma has allowed me to benefit from crazy girl spending.

Yesterday, I was walking across the displays, and this girl had these smoking red heels on. She had boxes everywhere, and was surrounded by her fellow cute girls. So I stopped and told her “Those heels rock. Those are HOT!” and they were! I chatted with them and joked with them for a minute, and then moved along. A few minutes later, I saw her choosing and ringing up the hot red heels. The power of suggestion?

Interesting.

But even more so, was my first sale yesterday. I wasn’t even supposed to be selling, but this girl was sitting there with her friend, not more than maybe 17 years old. They looked forlorn, and far be it from me to pass them by and not help!! “Do you girls need some help?” I asked innocently. “Yes!” they responded eagerly, and showed me what they were looking at. The one girl had just come into an extra $100, and what’s a young girl to do?

Buy shoes!!

So I helped her for a minute, she made her choice, and we went to the register. This is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel, I think to myself. I didn’t even have to try! She picked out some Converse-looking shoes that were $88 because they were made by ‘Coach’. Damn.

But what amazed me was the look in her eye.

This girl was just radiant about her new shoes. Seriously, you’d think she had just fallen in love with Prince Charming. Her eyes sparkled, her face beamed, and she was so excited. It would seem that buying a really great pair of new shoes can be quite a thrill, and maybe even more so, if they are pricey like ours, with some great brand name.

Who’d have thought?

So, I get to make good money flirting with rich girls, talking shoes, and watching them light up with joy as they select their new magic items...

and it’s going to make for some damn good blogs, too.!

ah, and I get to wear my cufflinks.....

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Soon, I will release my new book, The Violet Collar, for purchase!

I will be posting the first chapters right HERE so you guys can get a sneak preview!!!  Stay tuned!!