Please understand that what I am writing tonight is not a copy from a website, nor is this written in an altered state. I have never been more clear or more convinced that is something I need to get out of me.

Dear Alcohol,

This is by far the hardest letter I have ever written. I have discussed an inner dialogue to end it with you more times than I can count, but when you show up I cave. You have been there non-stop for the last 10 years of my life. You were my best friend, my confidant and my most diligant supporter of whatever I wanted to do. You eased through the most difficult times. My adolesence introduced me to you and I never wanted to let go. The numbness that came with your affections coasted me through a time that I never would have been able to handle on my own. You let me hold you at night as I heard my parents screaming, tighter than any teddy bear.

You released the inner extrovert that I was terrified to show. As an awkward teen, I was the butt of almost every joke that was made in school halls. You showed me that my weight, my acne, my glasses, my braces and my hair would be much funnier if i found a way to make fun of myself first.

You showed me how easy it was to talk to men with you by my side. The girl who never had a crush because she knew she was going to be rejected was now approaching men without ever meeting them and by God, you weren't leaving without their number.

Yeah, we had some great times. At first.

Then you started to hang out a little too much. You were such a good friend though, i had no reason for you to go away. At first.

We started going to parties with people we didn't know just so we could hit the free bar. We just kept partying for hours until I finally just dropped. I always lost that fight. I always blacked out first.

I remember when we went to Halloween and went to a rooftop bar. I had no idea what happened, but I was told later that I had to be carried to an emergency elevator after I puked in the DJ booth. They showed me the receipts as proof of how much I had. If it wasn't for a good friend, I would've been in big trouble. And no, it wasn't you.

We've been wild and crazy with the boys too, huh? From the age of 17 we've been waking up time after time thinking, "Oh my God, I slept with THAT?!" Guess we thought he was cute after a few Long Islands.

But lets get real here. You've wasted my money, you've degraded my health, you've lowered my standards and frankly, I just look prematurely aged because of you. After I left you at the parties and clubs, you followed me home. Everyone knows how protective I am about my home, and that means even you need to stay out.

I will stop by on rare occasion to visit, but i think it's best that we both move on. I can say that I love you with all of my heart and it is a daily struggle without you. But we both know that I am better off without you. Wish me luck and know that I am in a happier place.

Rebecca Sue Young