You know how your parents warned you back in the day about doing seemingly mundane things that would result in serious bodily injury to you? Like "keep your arms in the car or a passing car will lop them off" Or "make sure your shoelaces are tied when you ride the escalator, otherwise your foot will get sucked in" Or "even toy swords are dangerous, you can take an eye out" Well, I believed that my parents were feeding me a serious line of bullshit...and today, I'd like to spread the word and let you know that, dammit, they were actually right! ...and I'm speaking from first hand experience. Listen to my tales... Once, upon leaving a Knicks game, I was taking the escalator down to leave after most of the public had left (I like being one of the last to leave, lets me avoid crowds and sometimes see interesting shit I woulda missed had I gone immediately)...on my way down I heard ear-piercing screams...a bit further down the stairs, I saw a young child, red in the face, snot streaming out his nose, bawling like he just saw Pikachu get eviscerated...the kid was wearing only 1 shoe. I get to the bottom of the escalator and I see some guy struggling at the base of the escalator...upon closer inspection, I see a mangled shoe, with untied shoelaces, sucked about halfway down the base of the escalator. Just this Xmas day this one happened... I bought a bunch of Kendo training swords (Shinai) for everyone I live with. I thought it would rock as we would have to carry the swords around at all times to defend from each others attacks. This would serve the double purpose of making us better sword fighters and making us be able to be ready for sneak attacks at all times. My plan worked perfectly for a few hours. Everyone was walking around with the swords...impromptu battles occured...there were a couple of 2 on 1 beatdowns and such. THEN, during a ferocious battle of epic proportions between myself and Hozi "The Butcher", things went a bit wrong...with my swiftness, style and preternatural skill, I was in the process of preparing to give Hozi "The Butcher" the beatdown of a lifetime...a beatdown his parents would have wished they gave him...when something happened. Perhaps it was a glint from the bright yellow sun that hit my eye at a strange angle, perhaps it was some dust that made me blink at the wrong time, or a cup falling in the background that made me lose the intense concentration needed to do proper battle...in any case, the result was me getting jabbed in the eye. It was a miracle I did not lose my eye. I *did* however, have the skin ripped from under my eye...not wholly removed, mind you...I had to do that myself...with a scissor. There was much blood. My male modeling career amy be over, but I still have my eye. The best thing was I told my mom about it...and she said "That's why we never would get you a sword before, I told you you'd poke your eye out." Sigh. I hate it when parents are right. f