There are always the pros and cons to any situation. Fueled by a marvelous evening out for Cinco De Mayo I went out with friends to go eat and back to there place after to watch a movie. Now, with every respect I understand that things are at a point right now in which I am unable to push the limits on certain details but the idea of not being able to enjoy my youth  besets me. I've decided here and now I really don't want to supress these urges to have a good night out with very good people and actually enjoy myself. I look forward to the weekend. It's the one things that get's me through the week, my reason for getting out of bed and actually going in. And belive me, I despise this job with so much content and so much pain it makes me sick to my stomach. To feel physically ill due to your work environment is not how we are ment to live our lives. We were not put onto this good green earth to spend our days in cubicles looking at computer screens all day. And to this I say, Fuck Yeah! So, I end up enjoying my youth and live it up. Just recently I have began to adjust my life, resetting my standards for the people I spend my time with and that of which I do with them. So, along with this change has come a lot of self sacrafice and diligence. Ladies and getleman he's becoming an adult. Haha! Laugh as I will but damn it's not easy! By no means did I know that life was gonna be this challenging but you know what, I'm ready for it. I've been facing it head on and I realize that I can now deal with whatever it throws at me.

Now, there is one hurdle that I need to cross in order for me to live a comfortable life. A life in which I can actually attempt to be happy. Those would be the Parental Units. I know they mean well and I know they are just trying to look out for me but damn does it get old. There has to be a point at whch they let go. Yes, I admit I have made mistakes in my past. Quite a few actually, but that's what life is all about. You live and you learn and you move on. I Just wish they could do the same. Contrary to this they proceed to never forget, which I can completely understand. Niether will I! How can you choose to forget something that has been so monumental in your life. These are days in which I've done a lot of soul searching and I have found my voice, if you will. I used to be so affraid to face life. I left myself numb to the world for so long, doing whatever it took to release that reminder of how how it can be. But in doing so I was also making myself dead to all the Great things in life. Nver knowing what was good and what was not. Made a lot of bad choices and lost a lot of good people but I'm past that now. I don't have any regrets about any of it. I have learned so much in the past few months and had a few good tears shed but it was all worth it.

The one thing I am happy about through all this is the friendship I have gained with an old friend of mine. We were good friends before but now we have become  what I would hope to be a "friends for life". We've both experienced a lot and finally things are starting to go well. It's great to have a friend who's experiencing the world with the same mindest as I. (to be continued)