So, we've come into June of 2007. That means that we've survived half the year! Recently though I've been feeling detached from myself. For a few select few of you who know the trials that have been thrown my way we know that this hasn't been to easy. These things have been weighing heavy on my mind as the summer progresses. Soon enough they will be a distant memory but that point of clarity is taking forever to prove itself to be fact. I've been here breathing... heart beating... just going on, but yet I'm so far away.

The distance between who I am, who I was, and who I want to be is growing by the passing minutes. Waking up and telling myself just breath.

Take it all in, release!

Take it all in, Release!

Take It All In, Release!

I'm holding on with all my strength. My grip, my sanity, my ability to cope are all losing these battles I've waged. I want to believe that time heals all wounds. I want to believe that things can be forgiven. I want to believe in myself but these things are becoming so unclear to me. I was set out with a goal and I have failed. Through that failure I am paying for the today and for the tomarrow.

So, as time stands near, I begin to think about it all. Rethinking, rebuilding, retaliating. As the old has done me no good, the present seems helpless, and the future seems distant, I fight to breathe. The air between me, between you, between now and then has become so thick, so diluted, so unconscious. I'm here but I'm not here. I'm lost in trying to find my way back. Will I ever find my way back? I'm scarred. I'm alone. I'm scared!

Click here: Fear -- Sara Mclachlan
Fear!