Imagine this....

Standing alone in a room full of eyes that sting. The clock clicking away minutes of peace and comfort. Paper clips and suits are all composing the sound of your demise. Standing silent to the rustle of pages that turn faster than you can read. This is the chapter I found myself in today. Through these eyes you can see the not so distant future that awaits. The focus begins to grow as everything else becomes so blury. Nothings is taking form and the outside is fading fast. Blink and breath... Look forward, blink and breath.... Stand up straight, look forward, blink and breath... Swallow, stand up straight, look forward, blink and breath...
Soon enough all the simple reminders begin to fade away near the end. The room is filling with all these simple things that we take advantage of without any care. Suffocating your every thought. Can you just Imagine that.

There's something about standing alone that I will never understand. No matter how many people you have that care or how many people you know that feel for you, you are still always alone. I felt alone today. Unfortunatly at the moment a good portion of the people in my life are experiencing very unsettled times. Normally I'm the person to be there or vice versa but right now everyone seems to be dealing with so much of their own it seems nearly impossible to reach out. I know I haven't been able to for some bit here for a very close friend of mine and I can tell it has changed an aspect of our relationship. We've grown apart and that, I do have to say, has been quite hard on me. I feel so alone, especially today. But, I understand that we each have our own lives that we must attend to first so I don't want to stand in anyones way or be selfish and think that my situation is far worse than anyone else. All I'm asking now, I need to be cheered up because now I'm feeling so very low. This life I have has been an amazing roller coaster but today has by far been the worse drop I've ever had. I can't quite explain the whole situation because I cant even put things into words at the moment nor do I have to. But, I'm asking for a friend... I need my friends now.

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Never is a Promise -- Fiona Apple: Tidal