Hail Legions!

pInluH here with a special update regarding our recent Q&A contest.

The crew of the Stovokor have read and deliberated over your submitted questions and I must say we were shocked by the lack of spelling and grammatical errors they contained. For being the creators of Federation Standard you are hardly masters of it.

Many of your questions were entertaining at least and I am proud of you the way a person is proud to have created a large bowel movement after the Day of Honor Gagh and bloodwine feast!

Here are the winners in no particular order:

First there is this gem from Detonator ( http://www.myspace.com/dj_detonator );

"How many intergalactic wars has Stovokor caused/won/been a part of?"

Here is the answer:

"Great question! Humans, soft skinned, hard minded.

There is a somewhat complicated answer, but I'll summarize it as best I can.

In truth, in our time (2369 human timeline) we are responsible for acts that would have even our own high council ready to end our lives. The reason we traveled back in time was to undue the accursed Khitomer accords.
The treaty that bound the Klingon Empire to your United Federation of Planets (2293 human timeline) because of the nature in which we acquired this Temporal device it brought us to your time (2001).

This could have been the trigger of the greatest struggle known to both of our species, but as of then the plans changed. Now we simply try to subjugate your planet in hopes that we can simply avoid the UFP and the Khitomer accords.

AS far as wars and/or conflicts that we have started/or taken part in before our departure from our own time the list is long: here is the best account.

2369: Months from the formation of the Covert Mission "betletch" pInluH HoD commands the IKV Bom'ji in a raid on the Cardassian outpost now known as Deep Space 9. During the battle pInluH (youngest captain in fleet history) tries to save his crew after severe phaser bombardment and in the process loses his left hand to an explosion in engineering. pInluH goes on to command the ship to what some still consider one of the greatest upset victories in Empire history. With a crew of 18 he destroys 12 cardassian war ships and escapes mere moments before the arrival of Federation ships to take care of the remaining 14 cardassian battle cruisers.

2346: Kraa'nik and Khrell, both seasoned warriors enter battle on a small planet known as Khitomer, were they had been dispatched to end the lives of some 89 Klingon prisoners. This may seem harsh, but there should be NO such thing as a Klingon prisoner. During the battle Khrell destroys the home of a young Worf, using the Romulans as a cover Worf blames them for the rest of his life for the death of his family.

2352: Qij'pe and Cheron MuchWi are aboard the IKV Trep'tak and are summarily dismissed for acts of barbarism during their stint battling the Borg. It is rumored that every assimilated Klingon they encountered had their cybernetic framework ripped savagely from their bodies. After their dismissal the two warriors attempt mutiny on the ship, plunging the crew into a fued, fueled by a planetary nationalism that's main points are allegiance to the High Council or the teachings of Kahless. This feud catches the eye of Gowron who later reinstates the two warriors for what will become the crew of the Stovokor.

2369: The Crew of the Stovokor assemble for the first time and are sent on their covert mission. After an altercation with the Ferengi the crew appropriates their desired temporal device and begin what will become the eventual demise of the UFP.

I hope this has been informative. If you have any further questions, don't hold your breath!

-pInluH HoD "

What a wordy captain indeed!

Next one:

This fresh fruit is from [NC] - Napalm (http://www.myspace.com/minty_fresh_napalm)

"After crushing their enemies down to the powdery base components that make up their weak and useless corpus, what manner of alcoholic delights does Stovokor enjoy?"

Here is the wonderful and powerful answer!

"Human,

Your question has much merit!

I personally prefer to down around 20-30 of your colored bread waters before even stepping into a battle. As for afterwards I truly enjoy a double crown and coke, at least 5-10 of them.

Bloodwine is truly the favorite of the crew, but is in scarce supply during this time, so we ration in by saving it only for when your impressionable women are near us.

-pInluH"

Politically correct! Next one please...

This pool of water in the sand comes to us from Abby (http://www.myspace.com/plomeeksoup)

"Which of you have the most impressive K'Ehleyr shrine in their bedroom?"

Here is the answer!

"Short and sweet answer...

None of us! As we despise humanity, a half breed such as the one you mention (who's name I dare not relay) has no place in our shrines.

However, what an attractive young lady. I mean! Death to human-klingon defilers! Yet, I know as I say this one of our crew is most likely creating such a child.

Sometimes it is hard to be a Klingon.

-pInluH"

So there it is! The winners of the first Stovokor Q&A Contest. It is a nice cross section of the Human species I would say.

Now for the next order of business.

If you could have Stovokor cover any song what would it be? Surprise me Humans! I want to hear good varied responses from you! Send us a message with "Cover" as the subject or simply reply to this posting. This could be an opportunity to change your future for the better!

Until next time Legions, stay loyal to your new masters!

-pInluH