So what's new?
Well I'm busy. So busy. So constantly busy. School is more work than I've ever had to do ever before. I used to think that it was easy but somehow in the past year it's changed. I suppose it's got something to do with the fact that all my classes are upper level science courses and will be until I graduate sometime next year. I can no longer bullshit my way through classes. I have to actually learn things. I have to go home and study several hours every day outside of school.
It's really great but it sucks too. I miss seeing people who I don't see every day. I worry that some people are less patient with me than others.
I have a life conflict. What do I do? Do I run away from the doomed world I was born into or fight against it despite what appears to be a hopeless war? Running and fighting are both difficult but in different ways. It takes a lot of energy to run but with little reward, It takes a lot of patience to prepare for the fight but with no guaranteed reward.
Perhaps that is a little too melodramatic?
Regardless, in some way this conflict manifests itself in subtle ways.
Music VS school
Friends VS school
Love VS school
A career teaching VS a career in science VS no career at all
Add it all up and you have...
School VS Music VS Friends VS Love VS Careers
but that's not really how it works...
it's more like...
Present: School VS Pleasure
Future: Career VS Pleasure
These are all important things to me and I believe and I'm interested in a synthesis of all these things. But are there are tradeoffs? In the biological world the niche specialist, say an anteater, dominates its own craft. Anteaters are one hell of an ant eating machine but are relatively poor at everything else. The generalist can, however, exploit multiple resources let it be ant, beetles, pygmy rabbits, psuedoscorpions, whatever. The problem here is that there are already niche specialists for ants, beetles, pygmy rabbits, psyuedoscoprions, whatever and they're more likely to out compete the generalist.
what does that mean?
I don't know...
It's all more complicated than any of this.
Cheers,
Jonathan
p.s.- to the ones I don't get to see so much these days...
I miss you and think of you more often than you may realize. I hope you're well. You should call me as I have a very hard time slowing down and it is often difficult for me to leave my two neighborhood radius.