After awhile I've begun to notice things that I don't want to notice. What I mean to say is my own flaws. Things I've known for years but I've never acknowledged. Things that have been my character flaws for years and things that I have hated to see in other people. These things that have destroyed relationships, and these things that have constructed more hardships. These are things I know how to fix in others, but things that I have not fixed in myself.

   I could tell you exactly what you need to do in order to make yourself happy, but, I can never figure out to how to make myself smile. I can criticize your laziness all day long, and tell you it's your fault  that your not committing to what needs to be done, but I'm not showing up to class because I'm tired. I can tell you everything is a piece of cake once you set your mind to it, but I myself complain about having to go to work and commit to a job. I can tell you to save money and buy what you need, but every Friday I go out and drop my check before it ever hits the bank. I can tell you honesty is a virtue and that you need to be straightforward, but I am a master at the craft that is deceit. I can tell you to be selfless and do good deeds unto others, but I always look out for my selfish desires and trivial pleasures first.

   Self realization is a harsh road, because I have no one to finger as the villain other than myself. It's like a bad dream that I don't get to wake up from, but I still have the chance to reshape my future and amend my past. As I think of a way to wrap this up my ego is all inflated. It shouldn't be, these are things that need to be done. I can't feel accomplishment for something that should've been fixed a long time ago.