so this is the third blog i have written....dont know what my problem is really....(sometimes/all the time) i feel horrible about the things ive said about people who have hurt me in some way...and in turn i may have hurt them.....those include whyt...austin....and yes..even Mr. Dearborn...i cant really explain why i do that...but its gotta stop...must hold my tongue...i think alot of it has to do with showing other people i dont like someone...why that matters im really not sure....1)whyt--she was my best friend for over six years...and i dont know why we dont talk...she just decided to tell her cousin that i sent her fucked up emails and she never wrote back...thats why i still have the invitation to go down to stay with her through res life at bowdin right?? ya... 2) austin--we had a shitty relationship but i think it was only because we werent meant for one another...granted we both thought we were IN LOVE, maybe we just "loved" each other...and i (for the most part i dont remember the exact words) quote him "its said that we have a 'false love' before we find our real love" apparently we both thought wrong with rach and devin...cuz i think we were eachothers 'false love'  we had fun at first but we had our hard times and im sorry for saying all that crap...i was hurt but there was no need for that.....3)Mr. D....i know he has it in for me...seeing as though im the "spawn of my father" whom of which he called the devil...haha anyway i feel bad for saying all that crap about him too cuz he is an ok teacher i just dont think he likes to help me...whatever....

ok so im sorry for everything...i had a very long discussion with Kevin one night and now i realize that i need to change who i am on the outside to who i am on the inside none of this two way bull crap....i dont like two faced people and thats what im being to myself so im done with that...so in other words im trying to become a better person...the person i want to be and im gonna do it...i thank you Kevin... and Slim and everyone else who have somehow helped me become a better person....