So George Carlin goes to a hospital and says, "Doc, I got these chest pains."

It didn't go over well.

I know that, as a comedian, George Carlin has died plenty of times, but yesterday, he died.

Oh, man, I am so bummed. Even more than I was when Mitch Hedburg took that big broken escalator to heaven.

The three things I hope happened after Carlin did the big cackeroo: 

1. He arrived at the Pearly Gates and said, "Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits, I was wrong this whole time."
2. St. Peter (Carlin was raised Irish Catholic before he reached the age of reason) greeted him at the Gates and said, "Hey, Carlin — welcome to Door Number Four."
3. The Gates opened and Tippy ran out, yapping, panting, and saying, "I-thought-you-were-never-gonna-get-here I-thought-you-were-never-gonna-get-here where-the-fuck's-the-food?"