So there's a Pens blog that's become obsessed with us, trying to find out who we are, insulting us, etc etc...IT'S (UNINTENTIONALLY) HILARIOUS!!  They've tried to goad us into interviews and "conference calls", promising not to get into a "pissing match", but their blog is nothing but lame-ass pedantic internet "fail patrol" sophistry.

But fun is fun.

I finally gave in and answered some questions they sent, on the condition that the answers are printed in full, unedited.

But since they're Pens fans, I doubt they know that that means, and they probably don't have the honor to do it in the first place...SO HERE'S THE EMAIL EXCHANGE!

--------

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Adam

To: PUMMELER (explicit %$@#ing lyrics)

Date: Mar 31, 2009 12:38 PM

Subject: Q&A offer on the table





Hey guys. On my lunch break. Hope you respond to our q&a offer. We
get a shitload of visitors every day. It would be good publicity. We
just need explanation of that bizarre "walking billboard" quote, why
you have aliases, why one of you calls himself Lord Jupiter, what OBM
stands for, and how it feels to criticize the NHL for marketing and
making money off of Crosby while you are also trying to make money off
of Crosby with your latest song.



Let us know


---------

Only if you print responses in full, unedited:

Here you go:

1)  "Walking billboard" needs to be explained, in the post-NASCAR era???  Really?  It refers to wearing logo'd material.  One of our members prefers not to PAY to advertise for clothes companies.  Some people seem to think they're boosting their legitimacy with the prestige of the logos/labels they flaunt.  It's fake status.  Others just want to be judged by what they do, not the imagined elitism of the clothes they wear.

2)  We have aliases because it's fun, and because we know wackjob stalker Pens bloggers are likely to stay up all night obsessing on who we are.

3)  Lord Jupiter is Russian code for "Penguins fans lick themselves while sleeping".  It's a little known fact that this was on the first post-Glasnost letterhead Gorbachev had printed.  He used to order cases and cases of single ply toilet paper and maps of Pittsburgh on it.  Kind of a mystery.

4)  OBM means OBM until further notice.

5)  Are you seriously stupid enough to compare writing a song about the NHL's force-fed poster child with the actual hype machine that created the caricature in the first place?  I mean really...are you THAT fucking dumb?


Thanks!

-P