i lost myself in your eyes, in your smile, in the heart i once knew. but now i cant seem to find my way back out again. you've got me trapped inside of you. no matter how i struggle you surround me so entirely that you're all i can think of. against everything in me screaming to walk away, i stay. from the moment i wake up to the last conscience moment before sleep you're there. i want so badly to light the fire i once saw in your eyes. i spend countless moments wishing, wondering, trying to make it happen. if i could just light them once, i think maybe they would show me the way out, the way to my freedom. why do you keep me here? you never seem to want me near, yet you wont let me go. we both know i haven't the strength to leave on my own. maybe if you could just help me out i could become stronger. maybe become who you want. after all, all we both want is for you to be happy. please, just help me make you happy. or push me out, maybe that is the answer. push me away for the final time. make me leave and never let me come back weeping. leave me to look at all of my pictures of you. to wish i could feel you deep in my heart. to imagine us in a robert smith fantasy world. make me stay in my delusion until i hate you, curse you. until i am over you. if i can hate you and get past you i think i would be okay. i could finally start to make myself happy and learn to forget you and those eyes that pulled me under to drown a thousand lifetimes.