I'm possessed with the intent to post more articles, but writer's block hangs over my head like second hand smoke. Just to break free and compose a decent blog, I take extreme measures.

First, I position myself on the kitchen floor and stare at the ceiling for an hour, then grab the remote control and endlessly channel surf looking for inspiration.

(It never works)

So I walk down to the convenience store and purchase a 12 pack. The goal is to quickly consume mass quantities and free up the mind.

But I pass out.

I wake up hung-over and do 15 sets of push-ups at 30 reps per set. For breakfast, I throw a frozen pizza in the oven. I scan the morning newspaper for catchy headlines, reflect on how miserable my music career is progressing and curse at myself like a mental patient with touretts syndrome.

At this point I grab a pen and start to scribble thoughts on any scrap of paper within reaching distance. I gather the notes and pile them in a yellow folder and stick it in a file cabinet. Eat pizza.

I walk to the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror and scream, "I'm a hack without originality in prose or approach!"

After a quick shower I jump in my convertible MG and drive around aimlessly. It's only then I get the inspiration. So, I park my ride at the nearest local library, sprint to the public access computer cubicle and begin typing.

Maybe it doesn't always go down like that, but it comes close.