OK, this is from the Associated Press.  I swear to god it's not from the Onion or any other "fake" paper.  I laughed so hard, I just had to share it.

Any dog owners out there think a dog needs to be "berserk" to eat teddy bears?  I haven't been able to leave a stuffed animal within 6 feet of the floor in years . . . who the heck would bring a DOG (even a guard dog) into a TEDDY BEAR EXHIBIT???? LOL!!!!

Dog goes berserk, destroys Elvis' teddy bear

LONDON, England (AP) -- A guard dog has ripped apart a collection of rare teddy bears, including one once owned by Elvis Presley, during a rampage at a children's museum.

"He just went berserk," said Daniel Medley, general manager of the Wookey Hole Caves near Wells, England, where hundreds of bears were chewed up Tuesday night by the 6-year-old Doberman pinscher named Barney.

Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear once owned by the young Presley during the attack, leaving fluffy stuffing and bits of bears' limbs and heads on the museum floor. The bear, named Mabel, was made in 1909 by the German manufacturer Steiff.

The collection, valued at more than $900,000, included a red bear made by Farnell in 1910 and a Bobby Bruin made by Merrythought in 1936.

The bear with Elvis connections was owned by English aristocrat Benjamin Slade, who bought it at an Elvis memorabilia auction in Memphis, Tenn., and had loaned it to the museum.

"I've spoken to the bear's owner and he is not very pleased at all," Medley said.

A security guard at the museum, Greg West, said he spent several minutes chasing Barney before wrestling the dog to the ground.