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Flabby Hoffman



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Status: Single
City: CHICAGO
State: Illinois
Country: US
Signup Date: 9/20/2005

Who Gives Kudos:


Thursday, July 20, 2006 

Current mood:  anxious

As our culture became more and more surface minded, a unique biological process took place called Visceral Stratification.  This was a process that happened naturally as people endowed with physical good looks, wealth, a comfortable lifestyle started hooking up exclusively with each other, breeding a cultural class of enormously inequitable privilage.  So like the government came up with the food pyramid (featuring recommendations to eat tons of carbohydrates which helped corporations make a ton of cash selling carbs to John Q. Public), an organic process was spawned in the elite called The Success Pyramid.  This involved definitions of success that people of bonafide stature imposed on the rest of us based on their own values.  People with the top level qualities in the Success Pyramid wound up with others that shared the same hierarchical stature.  The building blocks of the pyramid included: Physical Beauty, Wealth, Political Influence and Blood Line (which includes race as well as heritage).  Anyone not in possession of at least one of these elements was never truly accepted into the higher ranks of the Visceral Stratification. 

Turns out that the people endowed with the rarified qualities on the Success Pyramid wound up getting the best of everything in life.  The best health care, the best food, they had the means to get people to help them get things done that they needed and while they occasionally still had death to contend with, they were insulated from lifes harshest elements.  They never fought in wars, they never worked in coal mines or with asbestos, they had tremendous school systems with plush and luxurious homes that were never broken into or poorly heated and air conditioned by a ten year old swamp cooler covered with a layer of dust on it thicker than Britney Spears make up.   After decades upon decades of this process, human beings started to actually evolve in two directions: the physically dynamic and economically endowed beautiful people or Uberyuppies and the Permanent Underclass.  The Uberyuppies were by and large wealthy suburbanites with good looks, money to burn, painfully unaware and self-centered and were intellectually repressed through years of complacency and disregard for others.  The Permanent Underclass were usually homely and often had frown lines and hateful spirits burned into their faces, they worked cleaning toilets, fetching food at the drive through, convenient store clerks, Wal-Mart and such and they never ever married above their social group.  It was a dark life of addictions to drugs, television, sports and servitude in many forms.  The Uberyuppies spat at them with all their might at every turn and they were powerless to avoid it.

In 2013, right at the start of the second decade of World War III, a person of immense personal strength and integrity came into his own.  Born into an antiquated and long forgotten socio-economic fringe group left over from the 1970s called The Middle Class, this person was neither Uberyuppie not Permanent Underclass.  His name was John Newsome.  John was a ferocious reader and was blessed with a gift of gab and a natural way of engaging peoples interest.  Owing to his unique class upbringing, his personal energy, skills and dedication he could have done anything he wanted.  He easily could have joined the ranks of the Uberyuppies and lived a life of splendor with a gorgeous female and gorgeous children.  John chose a different path however.  Early on in life he had learned to despise the plight of the Permanent Underclass.  He spent many long hours learning about the nature of the injustices of our society and why a few of the most powerful Uberyuppies installed control mechanisms to ensure that the separations would never be reversed.  Wars, economic hardships, marketing and advertising, social engineering in TV, movies and news, propaganda and hate mongering.  He dissected every one of their crimes against humanity and detailed them in a book that he called The King Of The Low Lifes.

The book rapidly became the most popular book ever and all of the Permanent Underclass that could read had worn the pages of their copy thin having reviewed it so much.  Unfortunately John was never able to see the true success of the book as he was killed in a mysterious plane crash shortly before its publication.  In fact the book was never published by a corporation, it was self-published and copied by a few of Johns friends and passed around by hand.  The book itself, while it unmasked the details of the atrocities committed by the Uberyuppies, it has no ending.  It simply stops at a point where it said all it wanted to say.  It has no redemptive arc, no closure, no instructions or conclusion.  The abrupt ending was a puzzlement to the leaders of the Uberyuppies who had been allowed to view the text as the immense detail of the body of the work suggested that there should be a grand conclusion.

There was a conclusion however, but John and his friends were too smart to commit it to paper.  The ending of The King Of The Low Lifes was passed down to all of the Permanent Underclass verbally.  Seems that John had spent a lot of time perfecting his chemistry skills and after several years of secretive experimentation he came up with a simple food additive, called Reactium, which when ingested or even breathed in would cause the victim to become physically and permanently ugly.  So the verbal ending to the book that the Permanent Underclass passed around aurally to everyone picked a date of July 4th 2020 when each of the members of the Underclass would brew up a batch of this Reactium and begin to dose the Uberyuppies with it.  Since the Permanent Underclass worked the checkout lines at stores, were busboys at restaurants, maids, valets and the like, they had immediate and total access to the Uberyuppies.  So seven years after the publication of The King Of The Low Lifes, the Permanent Underclass followed up and actually made the chemical and dosed the Uberyuppies starting on July 4th 2020.  Within three days, and before anything could be done to stop it, every Uberyuppie had been dosed with Reactium.  All their security gates, car alarms, airport screenings, anti-bacterial soap, illegal eavesdrops of innocent peoples phone calls and emails, Patriot Acts and the like all ultimately proved transparent and useless.  The Permanent Underclass as it turns out lived within the limits of the impotent shield that the Uberyuppies had erected.  And seemingly in the blink of an eye, within three short days they had all been exposed to Reactium and they had all turned ugly.  By the end of the forth day, every single one of the Uberyuppies had killed themselves. 

The Permanent Underclass rose up and created a new world and a new culture based the quality of peoples character, depth and the determination of their desires.  The old barometers of the Visceral Stratification and The Success Pyramid were abandoned and they forged a society predominantly structured on the Middle Class lifestyle that had given rise to the man who showed them a path to liberation.  And so it was, that many years after his death, in abstentia, John Newsome was crowned King of The Low Lifes.

 

Nellie Eve

 
awesome!
 
Posted by Nellie Eve on Tuesday, November 07, 2006 - 5:05 AM
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