What up doe (Shout to the D)
....
As
always I hope this finds you well.
I was sitting in my car a few nights ago and thinking about many
memories that I have with my wife Chantel. I think about how many wonderful memories I have about her
and spending time together, go on trips, spending night at home with the kids,
our kids being born. I think about
how many times I could not be home due to outside events and how much I wanted
to be with her. Then it hit me…I
have many memories that are not true.
Memories that are made up because I created a lie for selfish reason and
the explanation I gave her was such an amazing story, that not only did I have
to remember it, but so does she.
Lies that have become truths over time because they are a part of our
life together, intertwined with the good and happy and fulfilled. I thought about this and felt compelled
as I sat there in my car to call her.
We are in a great place in our relationship. No bumps, all good, and this is in no small part to my focus
on being more present and being able to talk more honestly. So I called her and after some small
talk, I quietly said to her that I was sorry that some many of our memories
together are my lies to her. She
paused for a long time, so much so that I thought we got disconnected. I asked if she was there, and she told
me that she forgave me. She did
not want to know which ones, cause I think deep down our partners know our bull
better than we give them credit for, she simply accepted my apology as a symbol
of continued growth and prosperity for our future.
....
Relationships
are so much about growth then we realize.
We are not the same person we start dating; as we grow we become
different. We get into situations and
difficulties that change us, sometime for good, sometimes for bad and sometimes
in separation. I only state this
as a way of you maybe looking at your situation and saying, how many of my memories
are lies in my relationship? Lies
that may be dormant for years and then pop up when a memory is brought up and
your mate or you talk about it, and then the facts are screwed up, or the
stories change.
....
There
is a very simple fix to this.
Simply do not lie about a situation. If you cannot be honest about where you are or who you are
with, just don’t be there. If you cannot
get out of it, then tell your partner about your situation (For example: Honey,
I am with these guys and they stopped at a strip club and they are my ride
home. Can you come get me or is it
cool with you if I go in and chill for a minute?) This request helps put you and your mate in the same
space. If you want to be at the
club, then say that. If you know
you are in the wrong then change your space. It is not easy, but if your relationship is as important as
you think it is, then change your space, which might include your friends, and
your partners that you chill with
....
I
have had enough lies personally in my life. I am ready for my relationship to be more about honest
memories and not forgiving lies
....
What about you?
Love is Love
Serch