So why am I so exited? For the first time in six days I got to eat today. I started a diet called the Master Cleanser on Monday which is basically a juice diet designed to detoxify the body. I know it sounds weird, but the results are phenomenal. The diet consists of drinking a quart of warm salt water in the morning and then drinking nothing else but a concoction of water, freshly squeezed lemon juice, maple syrup, and ground cayenne pepper during the day. That's it- no solid food.

            The first three days are hell while your body is trying to adapt to the fact that the only nutrients it will receive come from the maple syrup. My body, in particular, went into shock from the total absence of caffeine, cigarettes, and beer; let only the complete lack of food. I did, however, continue to dip snuff. Hey, give me a break; I gave up three out of four bad habits plus solid food for six days.

            By day four my system got used to the new regiment and things began to even out. I slept better at night and my energy level got back to normal during the day. The entire time I was fasting I continued to work out. In fact, I doubled the time I spent in the gym to aid in losing weight and expelling the toxins from my body.

            All said and done, in five and a half days I lost eight pounds and about an inch and a half around the waist. I went from 185 pounds with a beer gut to 177 pounds and very little body fat. I would recommend this diet to anyone. All it takes is motivation and determination.

            Today I had my first meal. It wasn't much, just a bowl of hot and sour soup from a Chinese restaurant down the road. Afterwards I stopped by Sprouts, a farmers market a few doors from the Chinese place, and loaded up on fresh vegetables. There's nothing like shopping for food after you've starved yourself for five and a half days.            

Now the actual diet should last ten days, but I quit in the sixth day and here's why. Number one, I'm pretty slim to begin with and losing more than eight pounds would probably make me look anorexic. OK, that's bullshit. The real reason is that we're playing Hank's tonight and that Nick, my manager, is in town from LA. I don't get to see Nick very often and when I do, by God, I'm not going to act like some of his West Coast acts and be all eccentric when he's here in Texas. If the boy travels all the way to Dallas I'm going to take him out to a honky tonk and drink some beer with him. The last thing I want to say is, "Hey, Nick, I'd love to go out with you tonight but I'm abstaining, not only from food, but alcohol too." He'd probably drop me as a client.

            So here's how I found out Nick was in town. Jim, owner and CEO of Big Karma Records (I know he hates it when I add that moniker to his name), went down to Austin to attend South by Southwest, a huge music industry festival that's been going on for years. Nick was in Austin because a few of his bands were playing SxSW, so the two decided to have meetings, ect., while they were there. Jim asked me on Wednesday if I wanted to go, but I politely declined because it was my kids' Spring Break and I was fasting.

            Anyway, I called Jim Thursday to see how it was going and he said they were making the rounds and gave me an update of who they met and what bands they got to check out. On Friday I left several messages for Nick but he never returned my calls. I knew he was busy and I figured he'd call me when he got back to LA.

            This morning I called Jim to see if he was back in town yet. He said he was leaving for Dallas this afternoon but Nick was already in town.

"What do you mean already in town? He never mentioned to me that he was coming to Dallas. Where is he?"

"Some mall, in Frisco, I think. He traveled on the bus up there with some boy band he's managing."

"You mean the Stonebriar Mall?"

"Yeah, I think that's the name of it. The mall over on 121 and Preston, isn't that close to your house?"

            The Stonebriar Mall is about a mile and a half from my front door. I was on my way to the YMCA when Jim called and I immediately changed directions and headed for the mall.

            I was not prepared for what I would find when I walked through the Folley's entrance this afternoon. In the main promenade just outside Foley's I ran into a crowd of probably fifteen hundred young teenagers crowding a temporary stage. The backdrop was a huge billboard for some soft drink company, obviously the band's sponsor. There were radio personalities on stage handing out bottles of either Sunkist or Orange Crush, I forget which, but no band.

            I wish I would have brought my camera with me; it would have made a great photo. On second hand, I'm glad I didn't. I would have looked strangely out of place waving a camera in a sea of young kids.

            I walked around looking for Nick and then decided that he was probably with the band on the bus. So I went down to the Starbuck's and got a coffee, my first in five days. Now, I don't usually buy Starbuck's coffee because I think it's a crime to pay $4.00 for a cup when you can go to Kroger and buy an entire pound of coffee for the same price, but this year my brother had given me a Starbuck's gift certificate for Christmas and I didn't want to let it go to waste. I ordered a venti latte, waited ten minutes for my order, and then returned to the concert area.

            I circled the crowd twice, and on my second pass I bumped into Nick. He was very surprised to see me and asked how I knew he was in town. I told him that I didn't; I was there to see the band. Nick said all he had to do was stay for three songs and then he was officially done with his managerial duties for the weekend.

            I said, "Good, then you can stay with me and come to the show tonight at Hank's. My mom's got the kids and Kathryn and I have plenty of extra beds at the house for you."

            Nick replied, "Dude, how much coffee have you been drinking today? You sound like a chipmunk."

            I didn't think about it before, but that venti latte had hit me pretty hard. My body wasn't used to caffeine and I guess it showed.

            Nick introduced me to one of his buddies from Dallas and then the show began. It wasn't a band performance at all, just the lead singer of the band (I wish I could remember the name), and another guy accompanying him on guitar. They played three Radio Disney friendly tunes and that was it, off to the autograph table where they were mobbed by the excited teenagers.

            Nick, his friend, and I then walked outside to the bus to get his travel bag. I tried to convince the two of them to stop by the house but they said they had to meet up with some other friends at some bar down in Dallas. I told Nick to give me a call later that afternoon and I'd give him directions to Hank's. He agreed and I found my way to my truck and drove home.