This is installment number 4 of the HD extravaganza. This will be the last one for a while so I hope you enjoy it.

About four years ago my best friend got married and asked me to be her maid of honor aka best girl. I, of course, said yes, and took my duties as maid of honor very seriously. Since I was in Los Angeles and she was in Dallas this was a little tricky, but in the end I think she was pleased with her decision.

The night of her wedding went off with out a hitch. It was beautiful. Now it is time to party. We head to the mansion in downtown Dallas where her reception is being held. Let the drinking begin!
A couple of wild turkey and waters later (why I was drinking that, I dont know, I think it was the Texans influencing me) it is time to catch the bouquet. I had barely seen the bride all night because of all the bride duties occupying her time, but before she heads up to the second story balcony for the bouquet toss, she pulls me aside and says to me, You are my best girl. If you dont catch this, it will ruin my wedding.

You got it. I wont let you down.

Fing great. Who needs that kind of pressure?

We all head outside and I stand directly underneath her so, that all she has to do is turn around and drop it over her shoulder. Her groom even aids her and places her directly in front of me while she is turned around. Since everyone in Texas and the Midwest seems to be engaged by the age of 18, there were only two girls waiting to catch the bouquet: me and my friend Dawn. Months prior to this moment I picked out the bridesmaids dresses. Black, strapless, satin, lovely. The months between buying the dress and this moment I dropped two dress sizes: nerves, pressure, wanting to look good for my best friends wedding. I really dont know how it happened. Its possible I wasnt paying attention when I bought the dress in the first place. It is two inches too long and held up with fabric tape. Such a disaster.

Butterflies are swarming in my stomach, and I am considering this the single most important task I have ever been given in my life. She takes one last look back at me with puppy dog eyes and I give her a thumbs up, ..I got it!.. Dork.

Dawn and I are in place for the big moment, and Stacey drops the bouquet.

Like freaking Michael Jordan, I pull a 32 inch vertical out of my ass and on my way up jack Dawn in the chin with my elbow, completely unintentional and subconscious I swear! SHABANG!! I grab the bouquet and gracefully float back down to earth. I jump up and down and yell ..Stacey I got it!!..

I look down and discover that while I made the 32 inch vertical, my dress had not. I literally jumped out of it while it stayed firmly planted on the ground. In front of me there is a burly drunk Texan named Bung, no shitting, Bung, keeled over pointing and laughing at me, which serves me right because I point and laugh at people all the time. I pull my dress back up and continue yelling, ..I got it! I got it!.. Hoping the success of the moment would over ride the embarrassment. These are the things that happen to you so you can tell others and hopefully get a chuckle or two. The only thing I was really concerned about was how many rolls of film the wedding photographer had of this mortifying occasion. To this day, he swears he doesnt have one frame. God bless him.

Again, I hope you liked this one.

Much Love,
HD.