My life is insignificant. My future is futile. All of my actions are just a boost to ego, to give myself some pathetic form of pride and comfort in a more decrepit age. This for example. Pure self indulgence. Remember children, ignorance is actually bliss. Being blighted with mediocrity is a disastrous thing and one that I will forever fight against. Disillusionment is a constant devil on my back. Spleen, o spleen please leave me. That is the curse of the true decadent. To live a life that is full, fake, noble and then to fall into despair. This is my office, my church, my private hell. I will fall and I will fall alone. Ennui will attack me as it does so now. But we all know that the light that burns brightly burns for half as long.

Of course as we all should know by now, you only get one life and one conscience. I could never truly emphasise with another. I can only project. So I will never be able to fully understand any of you. Why then should I have so much difficulty in understanding myself? The choices and conforms that I make still do bewilder me. I am salaciously inhabited every time a new Venus is shown my way. My body and mind constantly quarrel and bicker. Sometimes my eyes and lank limbs do not agree.

The only thing you should decide upon now is to never compromise with your own wishes. Live to extremes. Expect luxury. If you can never come to terms with yourself, change yourself. Be a dilettante. Be debauched. Be a dandy. Be divine.

And live your life as art.