I’m a writer so it is natural that when I am feeling something or I need to deal with something that I write about it.  I do it all the time on here and this blog has become my place to share my thoughts and just be me.  I am pretty thankful for it because sometimes I have no other way to express myself.  I am alone most of the time without adults to converse with.  My friends have their own lives and their own problems to deal with so going to them is not always an option.  However, my computer is always here and always willing to let me spill my guts.

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Turning 30 is not the end of the world, but it sure feels like it.  It seems every year my life gets worse.  After 30 years I feel like I’ve lived through so much already that I dread what it is to come.  Granted that the first 18 years of life are pretty much about learning and in looking back I shouldn’t count all the shit from those years.  Actually my childhood wasn’t terribly bad.  My parents got divorced, but that is common and something the majority of people go through.  It was when I turned 19 that my life officially went to shit.

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I just hope the next 30 years are something I enjoy.  I think it is about damn time I get some luck that is good.  This bad luck streak is killing me.  I just want things to go my way for once.  I want to spend a day without worrying.  I want to be happy, really happy.  I haven’t been happy for so long that I think I am forgetting what it feels like.  I am a pessimist by nature, so I am not sure I would know how to handle a good life. 

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Anyway, I am not happy about getting older.  If anyone asks I am 29.  I think I’ll just hold there for a while or at least until the wrinkles get so bad nobody will believe me.

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..Oh, and thanks to my awesome friends and loving family who tried their best to bring some light to my day.  Love y'all!..